Friday, February 12, 2016

Using What You Know...?

So now everyone should be signed in and have access. We are one semester and 6 weeks into our two year endeavor so time to step it up a notch. With adding the blog process to help develop our skills in writing specifically for the IB.

Using the following prompt from the 2007 IB Exam - construct and post your introductory paragraph for this essay.

For what reasons, and with what results, was the second half of the nineteenth century a period of social and economic change?

Part One: Your Answer.
These are essays of historical interpretation you should set the direction, tone and structure of the rest of your essay with the introduction - thesis, main ideas of support you would further develop in the body of the essay, and briefly what your conclusion is.  You will have one week to draft and post your response, so postings are due by Friday Feb. 19th.

Part Two: Peer Critique.
You will have one week to reply to someone, be prepared to address several people, they do not need to be in your class section.  Critiques should be constructive, inquisitive, helpful, more than a simple praise or complaint.  They will be released first come, first serve to the person you critiqued.  So if you are not the first one, you will need to critique another.  You will have one week to complete this process, so peer critiques are due by Friday, Feb. 26th.

After Part two is complete I will post the moderator comments from IB for this exam question so you can better craft your replies with consideration for what IB was looking for in this essay.

Part Three: Your Reply.
You will need to reply to the critique. Answer the question(s) posed. Explain in more detail. Honestly consider the insights, inquiries, etc. proffered by your peers.  Again you will have one week to complete this final part of the blogging process, so replies are due by Friday, Mar. 4th

Any late work will be penalized 10% for everyday it is late, plus it delays the opportunity for you to participate further in this assignment.  I look forward to seeing how you apply what we have done so far this semester to the demands of the IB.  Gook Luck!

176 comments:

  1. During the second half of the 19 Century in Europe social and economic change was making monumental strides. The idea of the middle class was a change that caused positive innovations to occur. The French Revolution as well as the repercussions of the Industrial Revolution (such as the steam engine) caused the middle class to rise in stature and therefore caused the need for new reforms. The Industrial Revolution created more jobs and easier transportation and the French Revolution created a more equal distribution of power as well as money. These social and economic transformations are what caused the second half of 19 Century Europe to be so monumental.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a really great start to your essay, Tatianah! Your ideas are relevant and well-presented. To improve, I might suggest distinguishing how you are going to discuss your main ideas for both social and economic change. Determining the difference between them and establishing points for social and economic change instead of just the general idea makes your point clearer for the reader. Additionally, is your main point the rise of the middle class, or are your main points the French Revolution and the Industrial Revolution? By making your thesis a more defined sentence, it makes the rest of your essay more organized and clear. Also, come up with some more examples of your main points to add beef to your intro. The reader should have a really clear idea of how the rest of your essay is going to look simply from the intro paragraph. Elaborate a little on the ideas you already have as well. What were the positive innovations of the middle class? What happened in the French Revolution that allowed for a more equal distribution of money and power? Great job though, it looks awesome!

      Delete
    2. I really wanted to have the three main ideas in order to allow for three god body paragraphs that I could expand on. I agree that an elaboration on specific examples would be beneficial, however I don't think that it should be too extensive. This allows for the reader to be more intrigued, but not know everything that's going to happen in the essay. Lastly, I thought that we had to use examples that would work for both social and economic changes so I tried to find things that fit in both categories. I must have been a bit confused...
      Thanks so much for the feed back Amanda! It was really helpful!

      Delete
  2. The late nineteenth century is an era categorized by rapid social and economic changes. During this time major key inventions were invented, making this era a time of expanding technology and creating new and more efficient means of manufacture. These new inventions, such as the Steam Engine, had long-lasting effects on the economy by allowing railroad expansion and the creation of the Suez Canal. Railroad expansion allowed for a rapid increase of exports and imports, therefore creating an influx of cash. Similarly to the transports entering in and out, new ideals of a social revolution were evolving during this time period. As an increase of factories progressed there was an increased need for factory workers. The conditions in the factories were insufferable and the hours were too long, such conditions needed for a revolt of some sort. The 1819 Peterloo Massacre occurred in order to demand change of parliamentary reformation, because the working class was virtually unheard. Other efforts to obtain representation from the bourgeois consisted as forms of social revolutions in order to establish the themes and ideals of natural rights, freedom, and nationalism that were common globally during this time period. Due to the rapid industrialization and poor working conditions, the second half of the nineteenth century was a major period of social and economic change.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Margot this intro is very good and well thought out! You have great word choice and excellent examples. I would suggest not going too in depth on what exactly the inventions did, because you want to leave your reader wanting to read more. You'll go more in depth later on in the essay. However, I can clearly see how you're differentiating the social change from the economic change and that is good! This will make it easier for, not only you to write the essay, but also easier for the reader to follow along and understand. Overall, great job!

      Delete
    2. This is a wonderful start to your essay. In the first sentence, change "is an era " to "was an era". I would change your diction so it doesn't read redundant in "inventions were invented". Generally, the actual meaning of your paragraph is well in line with the ideas of the 19th century and is factually accurate. There are just a few places where the word choice could help the writing flow better, and you can add in some semi colons or perhaps combine sentences to elevate the writing. "The conditions in the factories were insufferable and the houses were too long, such conditions needed for a revolt of some sort." This sentence is grammatically incorrect, I would edit the latter part so it makes a little more sense. Just make some minor changes into how this is written and it will be excellent!

      Delete
    3. Those are really good ideas! Thank you, I will definitely edit this.

      Delete
  3. Introduction:
    The second half of the 19th century in Europe saw both a social and economic revolution that had not been seen before in Europe. The development from the industrial revolution led to both an increase in divisions of wealth between the upper class and the lower class. This, as well spreading democracy from the French and American Revolutions led to new political ideas such as communism and an overall increase in democracy. These in turn led to widespread political change like the German and Italian Unifications and the Revolutions of 1848.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice intro overall, I think you have a solid idea set out, I'm a tad confused about how you are structuring it though. Are you saying that the industrial revolution is an example of economic change, and the increase in divisions of wealth because of it is an example of social change? And then are you adding in that it was also a period of political change, or are you trying to say that there were political changes that happened within/because of the social and economic ones?

      Delete
    2. Thanks Rose. No, I am stating that the increase in divisions of wealth is an effect of the economic change and thus is exemplary of the change that occurred. I linked the political change as a result of the economic change, however that could be better structured in terms of my clarity and how it linked. What I am trying to communicate is that it was an era of political change, but economic change was a principal cause of the political change since the two are by no means mutually exclusive.

      Delete
  4. The second half of the 19th century was a greater period of social than economic change, because it is during this time that the events and ideas of the first half of the century manifested in action. There was some change economically, as can be seen with the end of the Second Opium War, allowing much more accessible trade with China, but the majority of change was happening socially. The increase of the idea of Nationalism culminated in united kingdoms for both Italy and Germany, and helped many nations, such as Romania and Serbia, gain their freedom from the Ottoman empire.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your introductory sentence addresses the prompt really well, but the difference between social and economic change that you initial established isn't very apparent further into the paragraph. The ideas presented are well put together and are great examples of these changes. Your connections of Nationalism work really well because it involves all of Europe to some extent, and is a prevalent issue in the last half of the 19th century. I don't know if you should elaborate more on the Second Opium War but that could be a possibility because only the results of the war are mentioned in this introduction. The ending is a bit weirdly put, and it might be better put in two sentences or if it's reworded! Overall this looks like a really strong piece!

      Delete
    2. Great start! You gave a lot of ideas in this paragraph but you're missing a thesis statement. If you put your thoughts from this into a sentence that could help you to write your body paragraphs and restate in your conclusion. Your examples of change could be made less specific (than mentioning specifics of the Opium war and the ottoman empire) so that you can elaborate as much as possible in your body paragraphs.

      Delete
    3. Awesome, I will work on rewording some things so that they make more sense, and I think elaboration in the second opium war could be a good idea.

      Delete
  5. The second half of the 19th century was a period of both economic and social change for a number of reasons. Industrialization caused population growth and self interest, an increase in nationalism, and a growing availability and demand of key resources. Romanticism and artistic movements increased emphasis on literature, music, as well as technology. Emerging ideas of socialism and communism spread across Europe changing the way people viewed government and aided in both German and Italian unification. Overall, both economic and social changes across Europe in the 19th century were fueled by and number of reasons and results of industrialization, romanticism, and ideas of socialism and communism.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is really good so far! I think your points will support the economic and social change well! Some suggestions for improvement are: I don't think that nationalism was necessarily caused by industrialization, so either further elaborate on the connection there or explain that nationalism (caused by other factors such as Napoleon and The Congress of Vienna) impacted industrialization. You could mention the connection between key resources that you have listed and imperialism (which connected the world economically and created specialization in different countries). I would switch technology out of Romanticism and into industrialization. Maybe categorize socialism and capitalism as an economic or social change instead of political (even though they did involve politics, you will need to talk about their effect on economic and social change for this essay). Finally, I think the unifications are really good to mention but illustrate the relationship between socialism/ communism and these more so that it's easier to follow. Overall, really good job, it looks like a great foundation for the prompt.

      Delete
    2. Thanks Ellie! That definitely helps a lot. It makes more sense to switch the nationalism part out a little more for sure. And the other critiques make lots of sense also. I think I would elaborate on the socialism and communism with the unifications further down in the essay like in a body paragraph because this is just and intro and I only wanted to briefly introduce the connection. I for sure will switch technology out of romanticism (I have no idea what I was thinking that don't make a lot of sense) and talk more about key resources. Thanks so much!

      Delete
  6. 19th century essay:
    The second half of the nineteenth century was one of many changes as industrialization, imperialism, nationalism, and communism struck the world with new ideas and results which rapidly distorted social and economic aspects of Europe. The new economic systems throughout Europe were influenced by industrialization which drove capitalism and new production methods to create trade and economy never known to Europe. Then, with the rise of imperialism, nations implemented military action to spread their power to global markets and begin trade centers. Socially, nationalism brought about unifications of Italy and Germany and conversely, the disruption of other multinational empires which isolated and consolidated many powers in Europe and left the largest impacts on the ideals of the time period. Finally, communist and socialist ideas thrived and changed how people thought about fair social systems. Overall, with industrialization, imperialism, nationalism, and communism working together, the latter half of the nineteenth century was a progressive and flourishing time of economic and social change.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a top notch introduction, Ellie! Nice job outlining what caused the changes in the second half of the nineteenth century! I think one way that you could improve the paragraph would be to add more detail regarding industrialization, imperialism, nationalism, communism and what they were. I'm not saying like write a ton for each topic but maybe a sentence or two just stating what it was! This will help the reader understand why these things caused the changes if you know what I mean. :)

      Delete
    2. Overall I think this is very good and makes a lot of sense. However, I am a little confused what the overall thesis is. Is it the first or last sentence? I know Daniel wants us to be a little specific so even adding in such as an event or person to give some more details. Also when you say "the new economic system" I am a little confused if you mean Capitalism/ the free market or things that go along with industrialism (Machinery, etc.) I really like the lay-out the order/ way in which events led to one another.

      Delete
    3. Great, thank you so much! Those are great ideas and I will definitely change those things.

      Delete
  7. As the nineteenth century progressed revolutions sparked, unification drive emerged and new ideals developed. Toward the second half of the century, social and economic change was brought about by the advancement of the Old Industrial Revolution to the Second Industrial Revolution and rising nationalism. The Industrial Revolution during this time led to the decline of mercantilism and the rise of industrial capitalism in some european countries such as Britain, then bringing them prosperity, and furthermore aiding in the rising nationalism. However, in other countires such as Italy and Austria, growing nationalism was weakening their country, and therefore then was impairing their ability to industrialize.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a good start and has a well developed thesis on the economic change, but it does not clearly state the social changes impacted as well. I think you could go more in depth about how the decrease of mercantilism and the rise of industrial capitalism brought along social change (such as the reform movements due to the poor working conditions, long hours, and unsanitary conditions)

      Delete
    2. Thank you Margot. That is true I do not state the social changed. I will definitely make those changes, great idea!

      Delete
  8. The second half of the nineteenth century was a period of social and economic change due to discontent over governance, and the Industrial Revolution, resulting in a global restlessness along with internal and external expansion of national economies. The revolution of France’s Second Republic sparked revolt against established government and quickly spread across the world, upsetting traditional rulers and systems during the 1848 Spring of Peoples. The Industrial Revolution’s increase in urban factories strengthened local economies, producing booming growth of cities, and the increased the popularity of external growth through Imperialism. Despite some failures during the Spring of Peoples’ revolutions, the short term successes and freedoms gained by middle and lower classes prepared countries for more lasting changes in the future by prompting the question, “If others can become independent why can’t we?” The strength of factory based economies increased the instances of countries using Imperialism and firmly ended the prevalence of Cottage Industry.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is an awesome intro paragraph Christi! I think the way you set up the first sentence along with your three major points is fantastic. The only question I have is if you would be able to write this detailed of an intro under a time constraint? Or if you think it would be better to try and condense details such as "The revolution of France’s Second Republic sparked revolt against established government and quickly spread across the world, upsetting traditional rulers and systems during the 1848 Spring of Peoples" into "The revolution of France sparked revolts against established governments, upsetting traditional rulers and systems during this time" and then go more in depth later in your essay? Besides that, this was a very solid intro paragraph. Good job!

      Delete
    2. This is a great intro Christi! The way you set up your first sentence along with your three major points is fantastic and very clear. The only question I have is if you would be able to write this detailed of an essay under a time constraint? If not, I think that if you just simplified some details and saved them for the rest of your essay that you might have some more wiggle room for time. For example, maybe instead of "The revolution of France’s Second Republic sparked revolt against established government and quickly spread across the world, upsetting traditional rulers and systems during the 1848 Spring of Peoples" you could say the revolution of France sparked revolt against established governments, upsetting traditional rulers and systems." But besides that, this was a really solid intro! Good job :)

      Delete
    3. Thanks for the comment! Looking back on what I wrote, you're right that my points get pretty specific. I wouldn't be able to really replicate that in the time given to write the full paper, but after discussing the assignment in class I thought we had to go really in depth with our support to make up for not writing the whole paper. I guess another explanation in class (with an emphasis on keeping the topics broad enough to expand on) wouldn't hurt.:)

      Delete
  9. The second half of the 1800s was a time of much change. Their were very few aspects of the society that were left untouched, as new inventions, shifts in political systems and a change in work force led to many changes. Yet, social and economic changes were the most evident during the time period. This caused the time period to be extensively considered to be a time period of social and economic change. The social change was brought on by an increase in urbanization, which lead to events such as the waterloo massacre. Economic changes were brought on by new inventions, which lead to the ability of mass production, with the help of the steam engine. All of these changes both socially and economically were the cause of many ripple affects in history as it taught people not only about modernization but also how to handle change in general. For these reasons the social and economic impacts that occurred were impactful enough to be used to label this time period.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good opening sentence, however I'm not sure if you would consider this under a time constraint for the real thing and I would take out the "but also how to handle change in general"... not sure if that's the conclusion you're mentioning? Just little things :)

      Delete
    2. Thank you, your right about the time constraint I wasn't thinking about that while I was writing this. I see what you are saying about the "change in general" thing. Now that I look back on it I see how it could be a little broad and away from my topic for this essay, I will make this more specific and related to the original topic. Thank you for the help. :)

      Delete
  10. Europe faced many economic and social changes in the second half of the nineteenth century, many of which stemmed distantly from the industrial revolution that occurred in the eighteenth century, and allowed changes in the leadership of industry in Europe. Primarily allowing for Germany to become the leader in European industry, and economic competition to begin among many countries. Industrial development continued to grow allowing for chemical and electrical equipment to become the largest export from Germany. The economic changes in Europe were also due to the global economy that was created due to the economic pressure supplied by imperialism. These pressures allowed for trade and colonization to occur in increased amounts. The movement of “New Imperialism” allowed for the trade of resources without a middleman, which improved the economic return from global industry. Economic developments led to social developments like the creation of new social classes. Including the Bourgeoisie and rising middle class; both causing the power of monarchs and aristocrats to decrease significantly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Brynn, this is a good start that you can make even better with some improvements! One thing that will help is being more specific with what your economic and social changes are. Economically you have a lot of different changes: The Industrial Revolution, trade and colonization, and Imperialism. That’s a lot to cover in half of one essay! I’d recommend picking one idea (two at the most) to focus on and cover really well.

      I could be totally wrong about this, but while writing my intro I thought that economic and social changes should be treated separately, instead of one linking into the other. It’s definitely true that there’s a lot of overlap in economic and social topics of the time, but we covered enough material (think Revolutions of 1848, Unifications, etc.) that picking a social change distinct from your economic information would make your writing easier to follow and more powerful.

      In the first sentence, the Industrial Revolution and a change in industry leadership are mentioned. To start, the Industrial Revolution covered in the Zeitgeist projects occurred in the 19th century (when talking about years that start with 18--, we add a century. It’s a weird way of ordering dates) and the first time reading this I didn't understand the change in leadership was the economic result of the Industrial revolution, I thought it was your social change. You can fix this with imitating words from the prompt like "resulting in, creating, that made" etc. showing a change in time that gets the reader to recognize that your changes are pushing onto results.

      I can tell you understand the events of the period, but there's too much explanation about the economic situations that led to Germany becoming a global power. Details like the sentence, "Industrial development...from Germany" and describing the removal of an economic middle man are unnecessary at this point and detract from your main message that economic changes in Europe came from the Industrial Revolution of the 19th century, because here you're just trying to get the reader to understand what point you'll prove with support later on.
      The new social classes idea seems pretty solid to me, but it could be just as convincing to talk about change in political power that occurred during the political revolutions of the time.

      Hope this helped a little bit, you’ve got some great ideas!

      Delete
    2. thanks Christi for the feedback. I will definitely look a the structure of my paragraph. As well as some of the historical events you suggested.I will also look at my main ideas and at making them look more concise. Thanks for your feedback Christi!

      Delete
  11. The second half of the nineteenth century was not only a period of social and economic change. Rather, it was more so a period of economic and political change, with social changes as a result. Radical political, economic, and social changes were brought about in the early nineteenth century due to the merging of political and economic revolutions into what Hobsbawn called the “dual revolution” coupled with the spirit of Romanticism. This eventually culminated in the Revolutions of 1848, but they failed to achieve many of the liberal revolutionary goals. Thus, more conservative nationalism emerged in the second half of the nineteenth century as the driving force behind political and economic changes including the domestic policy of Emperor Napoleon III, the unification of Italy, and the unification of Germany resulting in larger and more unified countries.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Liz this a great introduction to hopefully a great essay! I like how you included political, economic, and social changes into how you are going to address the prompt. I was wondering if you are going to focus on just social and economic changes or social, economic, AND political changes (mentioned in your second sentence). If you are going to do the latter you may also want to include intellectual changes (to complete PIES). However, you did somewhat mention intellectual changes by bringing up Romanticism. I also thought you may want to keep specific events and dates, such as the Revolutions of 1948, out of you intro so that you can develop these better in body paragraphs. Also you may want to end your intro with a strong thesis that will set up the rest of your essay rather than continuing to discuss what changed.
      Good Job Overall

      Delete
    2. Andy-
      To address your first question: I was going to focus on how I think that there were political and economic changes more so than social. Yes, there were still social changes, but I think that the political and economic changes were more prominent. The moderator comments from IB even say, “On the other hand industry, transport, and urbanization had their down side: overcrowding; crime; diseases; poverty, etc. increased for many.” I was originally thinking that I would bring something up similar to what they said. I was thinking that I would write about that yes there were social movements, but they didn’t get people very far (e.g. overcrowding, crime, disease, poverty, etc.). Then I would focus more in on political and economic changes. Again, the moderator’s comments from IB say, “Reasons could include...political rights such as the franchise;...more democracy and freedom.” I think that these fall more under political change and that was how I was going to write my paper. I don’t know what IB thinks of that.... if you have the same examples, but you analyze them in a slightly different way.

      Mr. Daniel, what do you think about that? I was trying to challenge the prompt some, because I heard you say that in class, but how do you make sure you are effective with challenging the prompt to still score well on their markscheme?

      Back to your second comment/suggestion, yes I think that it was a little out of place to not say intellectual and mention Romanticism. I think I would need to reword that as I don’t really want to write about intellectual changes, since I think many of the major changes intellectually happened in the first half of the 19th century and before.

      Regarding mentioning specific events like the Revolutions of 1848, I was trying to set up addressing the “For what reasons” part of the prompt, but I understand what you’re saying.

      Mr. Daniel, again, what is your advice here? Is it okay to mention specific dates/people/events in your intro? I thought that it was a good way to show that I was addressing the prompt and set up what I was going to go more in detail about later in my paper, but I don’t know what IB likes to see.

      My last sentence was my thesis, trying to mention specifically what my paper is going to include, but now reading it again, I totally get what you are saying, it doesn’t quite flow as nicely as it did in my head when I wrote it and it seems as though I am introducing new ideas. I was trying to talk about that in the first half of the 19th century, there were people pushing for radical change, but then as that didn’t work out too well (seen in the failure of the Revolutions of 1848), so more conservative nationalism rose and the change was not quite as radical, but still change. For example, with Napoleon’s domestic policy, there was more democracy and freedom (an example from IB), but still controlled by a small government.

      Thanks for the great critique!! You really made me think about this in several ways that I hadn’t at all when I was writing it, and I think that I could make it much stronger now.

      Delete
    3. Liz,
      I think if you are looking to challenge the prompt from what you have initiated here, it might be part of where you consider counter-claims, rather than as another condition of how you are addressing it in your initial reply.
      Yes, using relevant people and dates in conjunction with events as evidence in support of your position is entirely appropriate. Just because an exceptionally detailed amount of chronology is not to suggest that including it would be penalized or off prompt.
      Great work!

      Delete
  12. The second half of the nineteenth century was a period of social and economic change because of the developments of the ideas of Romanticism in music, art, literature, and thinking; and because of the developments made during the industrial revolution including the creation of the steam engine and the creation of factories. These developments resulted in revolutionizing the thought process of individuals, the economic structure of communities, and transformed transportation.

    -Dianna Link

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like how you formed the sentence into a way to turn the question into a statement , but you never really explained how Romanticism was a social or economic change. I feel like it would have been stronger to address why these ideas the industrial revolution, and romantism are social and economic ordeals. A little bit of idea into how romantism changed things would be nice, like you did with the industrial revolution reasoning. Good job!

      Delete
    2. Thanks Maddie! I was thinking that romanticism was a social change that occurred and the industrial revolution was more of an economic change that occurred, and I was going to explain why they are social and economic changes in my body paragraphs. Anyway thanks for the feedback, I will try to explain why they are social and economic changes in my intro next time, and expand on that in my body paragraphs. Thanks!

      Delete
  13. The second half of the nineteenth century was very much a period of social change through unification and communist/socialist ideals as well as a period of economic change through industrialization and imperialism throughout the world. Socially, unification was established through nationalism throughout Europe, and most prevalently in Italy and Germany. Communist and socialist ideals were being presented by Marx and Engels in The Communist Manifesto as well as Marx in Das Kapital, which both introduced new thought systems into the world. Economically, industrialization was thriving and drove capitalism as well as manufacturing and trade. Imperialism was brought about by countries’ desires to spread their empire and expand globally across seas to bring about trade as well. Social and economic changes were occurring in numerous ways and in numerous places across the globe, which all contributed to a rapidly growing and changing world in the 19th century.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really like how you stated in your first sentence why it was a period of social change with examples and why it was a period of economic change with examples. I also really like that you stated in the following sentences reasons behind these social and economic changes. Great job addressing both parts of the prompt!!! Personally (I’m being really nitpicky here), I would change your second sentence to “Socially, unification was desired and won by Italy and Germany due to emerging nationalism throughout Europe.” I just think that your sentence makes it seem like there were unifications all throughout Europe, rather than saying that there was nationalism all throughout Europe, but the only two actual unifications were Italy and Germany. Second, I would try to connect your economic change results to clearer events/ideas in your fourth and fifth sentences. For example, it is not clear to me when you say “Economically, industrialization was thriving and drove capitalism as well as manufacturing and trade” what the change is economically. I definitely agree with the reason and result, but I would make it more clear as to what specifically changed. Overall, I think it’s great!!! You have awesome ideas and I think it will set up your argument in the essay nicely, but I just think it would read a bit more clearly and be stronger if you worded some things slightly different.

      Delete
    2. Thank you so much Liz, that's really helpful! I agree, the way you phrased the second sentence sounds much more eloquent and makes the meaning clearer to the reader. As far as connecting economic change, I agree! Maybe I could say that "trade and manufacturing promoted more contact between countries, thus stimulating economical advances within these countries", or something along those lines? Again, thank you so much! :-)

      Delete
  14. The second half of of the nineteenth century was characterized as a time period of reform and change, brought on by ideals that came out of Enlightenment and Romanticism. These ideals push old boundaries to support a new age of ideas and change. Nationalism during the second half of the 19th century caused a period of social changed that resulted in Risorgimento and unification efforts of Germany. Increased Nationalism also resulted economic changes including Zollverein in Germany and Tanzimat in the Ottoman Empire. Social changes including "White Man's Burden" were caused by imperialism in the second half of the nineteenth century. Economic changes during this time period, including a growing economy in Europe, was prompted by the Industrial Revolution. Overall, social changes were brought on by imperialism and nationalism, and resulted in "The White Man's Burden" and unification efforts, and economic changes were brought on by the Industrial Revolution and increasing nationalism, and resulted in Zollverein and Tanzimat and a growing economy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. These are all great starting points, but it may be possible to go more in depth on the effects of Risorgimento. For example, what exactly did it do for unification efforts in Germany? Also, a clearer link between imperialism and the "White Man's Burden" might be fairly useful. Very good overall! Muchas gracias

      Delete
    2. Thanks Ben! I agree my distinction between Risorgimento and German Unification wasn't very clear, maybe I could just say "unification efforts in Europe", because Risorgimento was for Italian unification, and then discuss the different unification efforts in the rest of my essay. Also I see how there isn't a clear link between "White Man's Burden" and Imperialism, I think that's something I would explain and go more in depth in in the body of my essay. Muchas gracias for the critique!

      Delete
  15. The first half of the nineteenth century consisted of many revolutions, sparking ideas of independence and change on a larger scale than ever before. The emergence of new ideas and resistance in the first half of the nineteenth century led to a significant transformation in society during the second half. The second half of the nineteenth century was a period of social and economic change as socially people began to express themselves freely through the arts, gain new ideas about their rights and freedom and establish a concrete sense of nationality and economically as individual nations began to emerge, trade shifted and increased with the rise of the industrial revolution, and an overall rise of the middle class occurred.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The intro sentence on your paragraph is very well done, and communicates very well the ideas of the rest of the paragraph as a whole. Well done! I don't see many places for improvement except for a few repeats with "the second half". Otherwise this is worthy of an A.

      Delete
    2. Thanks Mat! I will try and re word some of the times that I say "second half" in order to try and make it flow a little better. Thank you so much for the feedback!

      Delete

  16. The late half of the nineteenth century was heavily influenced by massive social and economic changes, First being Germany. Germany became the largest economic power in Europe, Germany far exceeded the production of any other European nation in chemicals and electrical equipment. The nation continued to expand its trade networks and soon enjoyed a flood of new plants and factories. Great Britain tried to retake its position as industrial leader, but Germany would not give up its newly acquired title so easily. The United States also enjoyed success during the Second Industrial Revolution. In fact, industry had made the U.S. the richest nation in the world at this time. This changed the world greatly since Germany was a relatively new nation, along with America and Great Britain, the emergence of these economic powers would lead the world along its course for the industrial revolution of the rest of the world, being the largest economic and industrial powers also gave the nations a lot of strength to imperialize. Social changes were effective immediately along with the rise of many scientific theories still popular today, an example would be Charles Darwin, Charles theorized the possibility of evolution, which made much sense to the scientific community and was a revolutionary new idea that changed many views in the public on the process of life. Charles Darwin’s ideas were somewhat dangerous, as they were infringing on the belief of God many still hold true, Darwin’s ideas were dangerous in this way because humanity had strong belief in God and claiming that the ways humanity came to be were different than written in the bible was a risk to declare.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Mat! You have a good start to this intro paragraph, there are some details that you can strengthen. The phrases that are a little redundant or extensive and can be stated more shortly but also making it stronger. Your ideas of reasons for the social-economic changes are pretty solid, specify the results of such change and you'll look good! Keep up the great work! Let me know if you have any questions.
      -Bruce Barnz

      Delete
  17. During the beginning of the 1800s, the industrial revolution and romantic era led to an increased appreciation for scientific thought and realism that occurred in the late nineteenth century. Thus, the second half of the nineteenth century was a time of many developments: new philosophies surrounding government and ways of life were circulated - putting more emphasis on scientific progress; the second phase of the industrial revolution began, leading to a rise in the middle class, and there was another drive for global power from various European states including the colonization of Africa. These events resulted in a time of social and economic change during the second half of the nineteenth century in Europe that had been unheard of in the previous century. This set the stage for some of the greatest economic revolutions as well as modernization in Europe leading to an era that would change the course of modern history.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Carlisle! I really like your first few sentences and how they are structured- it is easy to follow the timeline that you create from the first half of the industrial revolution, to the second half and then how all of the events led to new philosophies and ways of thinking. However, I am a little confused what exactly your thesis is? I would add one sentence to summarize the timeline you created to make it into one brief statement so the reader knows how the essay will be structured. Also, your last sentence is somewhat vague, so either adding in some more details or just replacing that sentence with your thesis would be great! Besides making a clear thesis, this intro makes a ton of sense and is very well thought through!

      I hope that helps! :)

      Delete
    2. Okay sounds good! I will definitely restructure my thesis. I can see where you get confused. I will definitely put more specific information in. Thank you!

      Delete
  18. The Congress of Vienna, which ultimately lead to the fall of Napoleon in the early 1800’s drove unity and a new sense of nationalism throughout Europe. With the threat of Napoleon and his empire no longer an issue, people were able to concentrate on other things, initiating the Industrial Revolution, an era of rapid development in industry with the use of the steam engine, the growth of factories, and mass production. This nationalism, unity, increase in scientific thinking, and advances in technology throughout Europe led to the second half of the nineteenth century being a period of both social and economic changes. These social and economic changes laid out a future for Europe that involved urbanization, a better education, and a healthier population.
    Maddie Fuchs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a great start to your essay! You have a lot of good topics that will be easy to write about as they are general enough where there will be enough to write, but also specific to the time. I also liked how you connected your essay to a broader time period and era showing the greater context of your essay. However, I think that you could be more specific/change your word choice. For some of the examples that you are using, I am unsure of what you're referring to. For instance, the second sentence where you talk about the threat of Napoleon, I don't know who he is no longer a threat to and why that would allow for people to concentrate on other things. Also, just the word "things" is unspecific - what other things are they focusing on? Also, for your essay are you splitting nationalism and unity into different paragraphs? As that might be hard to differentiate because they seem like synonyms of each other in this context. I really like your basic ideas - I just think that rewording a couple sentences will really make you paragraph stronger and allow for an easier writing process. You rock at euro and life. Keep up the good work.

      Delete
    2. Thank you for the critique! I definitely see where you are coming from and will make the changes!

      Delete
  19. The eighteenth century was a pivotal time period in Europe, especially during the second half. It's no doubt that there was a substantial amount of political turmoil with many new countries forming or reshaping their borders. Despite the physical separation, economic and social changes seemed to seamlessly cross borders. The largest contributors to economic and social perspectives are the Industrial Revolution and the Romanticism Era respectively, making the second half of the eighteenth century full of drastic changes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The first sentence has a good meaning, but it is worded weird. I suggest " The second half of the eighteenth century was an especially pivotal time period in Europe." Also, the second sentence seems unnecessary, the prompt does not ask about political turmoil, I would incorporate that later in the essay to accompany another point in your essay that is direct to the prompt. Be more specific than saying how the economic and social changes crossed borders, How did they do this?( specific events or ideals). Give more detail. What part of the Revolution and Romanticism Era lead to these changes. Overall your sentence structure and base ideals are good, I would recommend more detail and more specificity to the prompt.

      Delete
    2. Thanks Nicolina! I totally understand that my opening sentence is worded weirdly aND your suggestion sounds much better. I also know that the prompt didn't mention any political turmoil but I was trying to put the changes in context.

      Delete
  20. Following the rise of the Industrial Revolution and the Revolutions of 1848, Europe underwent a series of social and economic changes which not only impacted Europe, but the entire world. Spurred by the rapid growth of industry, trade between nations grew rampantly and a world economy began to develop. Then, through the flourishing of trade, Imperialism sprouted, causing a drastic move towards Colonization. This all led to social and economic growth. Resulting in a new economy with a vast amount of machines replacing human laborious work, a new social classification system as well as a shift in leading nations, and new changes that will lead to the development of the modern world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're off to a good start, the wording does get a little clumsy around the middle. This isn't a huge issue, but if you could be more succinct in your wording it would present your ideas in a stronger more convincing way. Also, the shift in many economies across Europe was important but, it would be fairly helpful to give more specific examples of this, which could be useful when writing the longer essay,since you have written about industrialism, to help the reader understand this the wording needs to be more concise (use of proper terminology and specific details may help). Overall, it's a really awesome paragraph, these are just suggestions! :)

      Delete
    2. This is a really good start! Some easy changes include not capitalizing imperialism and colonization. The "This all led..." section is a little unclear with the subject, so I would suggest that you add a subject to that sentence for clarity's sake. The last sentence is a sentence fragment, so just complete that sentence. Additionally, add some information about specific events that are examples of the world economy and the rapid growth of industry. This is super optional, but you could add info about specific countries as well if you wanted to. I really like how your paragraph is structured in a clear and concise way!!

      Delete
    3. This is a wonderful beginning to your essay. Keep in mind that imperialism and colonization don't actually need to be capitalized. You could probably combine the sentence about those two topics and the one about social and economic growth; it would have the same effect to combine the one about social and economic growth with the last sentence (which you may have intended to do since the last sentence is actually incomplete). I would change "not only Europe but the entire world" to "impacted the entire world" and "world" in the next sentence to "global". It runs a little more smoothly that way, but this is all just syntax basically and the actual ideas behind this introduction are top notch! Good job Jack! :)

      Delete
    4. Thank you so much!! I can definitely tend to have my wording get quite clumsy, but I can go through and fix that. Or at least work on that next time. Also, now that you point it out, I can see that I definitely need to add more examples or at least get a little more specific. Thank you so much for all the help and everything you said will absolutely help me not just with this introduction but future introductions as well.

      Delete
  21. The second half of the nineteenth century can be characterized as a period of social and economic change strongly influenced by capitalist ventures. During this period, capitalistic schemes triggered social changes by redefining national apparatuses as a result of European expansion and worldwide warfare, as well as dismantling human rights during imperialistic conquests, and by invoking Communist and Proletarian opposition towards the capitalist bourgeoisie. Likewise, capitalistic motives also stimulated economic changes by generating wartime profits during out-breaking wars, and by fueling the development of technologies that provided higher efficiency and greater profit. In addition to developing imperialism to its highest stage, as Vladimir Lenin had outlined, capitalistic reasons were also the driving force in social and economic changes during the last half of the nineteenth century.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bruce this is a great introduction paragraph. To make it even better, maybe describe how social changes redefined national apparatuses. Also describe briefly about human rights were being dismantled. Other than those few changes, I think your paragraph is fire.

      Delete
    2. Awesome! Thanks for the critique! I initially intended on extrapolating upon the nationalism and human rights further in the essay, but I see your reasoning and I can describe the national apparatuses as specifically the development of the Prussian and Italian states into the unification of Germany and of Italy. For human rights, I'll further state that the native peoples of were mistreated and brought about abolitionist sympathy with in Africa and in Europe and pushing local Europeans to desire more domestic rights since there were movements for rights externally.

      Delete
  22. During the second half of the nineteenth century, prominent social and economic changes in Europe helped define its pre- World War I state. Karl Marx’s The Communist Manifesto and Social Darwinism greatly influenced various social aspects of this period. Literature during the late 19th century helped shape new ideals and the idea of white man’s burden became another leading movement in social change. In addition to the social changes that were happening, the economy of Europe was also shifting. The Zollverein and industrialization played a huge part in how Europe’s economy changed. Overall, the second half of the nineteenth century in Europe was a period of social and economic change.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that your first sentence sets the time period that you will be writing about really well. Specifically how the economic and social changes allowed for the pre- WWI state. One thing that I noticed you could add, is a reference to imperialism when you mention the idea of the white mans burden. This could just tie in the larger idea of imperialism, rather than possibly narrowing the ideas you can talk about with just the idea of the white mans burden. Also changing the wording of your concluding sentence may also be helpful as the concluding sentence and the sentence about the Zollverein and industrialization are very similar and can seem somewhat repetitive. Great job Madi!

      Delete
    2. Thanks so much for the critique Brynn! I totally agree that I should switch out the white mans burden for imperialism to give myself more to write about in the body paragraph. I also agree that the last three sentences are sort of repetitive and can be changed. Something along the lines of ...the economy of Europe was also shifting with the Zollverein and industrialization which played a huge part in how Europe's economy changed. Thanks again for the critique.

      Delete
  23. Throughout the 19th century, there were many advancements in technology and this allowed many social effects to take place. The advancement of technology during the Industrial Revolution led to more trading being done between nations due to the invention of the steam engine, making trade both easier and quicker. In order to create more trade-able goods, factories were created and with it came urbanization and a need for resources. This leads to more expansion to obtain more resources and provided a variety of social effects worldwide. These effects were things like the conquering of many native peoples, which lead to many problems like the Boxer Rebellion and Scramble for Africa. In the conclusion, the combination of many effects that the Industrial Revolution caused allowed the increase of trade due to better ways to travel from the invention of the steam engine and more goods produced from factories. This helped European countries to conquer many foreign nations due to the great advancements over the native people of other nations.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lex i appreciate the manner in which you linked events as it demonstrates a strong understanding of the time period but i dont feel as though it necessarily makes sense within the realm of an introductory paragraph, if you were to follow this route i would worry about two things. primarily, the key events and ideas that you plan to talk about arent clearly demonstrated and two im worried that this format will make the rest of your essay repetitive

      Delete
    2. I think that you have done a very nice job of laying out what the rest of your essay would look like. Specifically with our examples and how they all connect to each other. One thing that I think could strengthen your essay would be to add a more specific description on how the time period was or was not a time of economic change. I think that you could still use the example about the advancement of technology. This would help cover more of the prompt. I was wondering whether you were going to focus on the social changes that occurred in the city like urbanization or the Waterloo massacre or if you were going to focus on the social changes in a broader respect to the European nations as a whole. Also I like where you were going with how this time period lead to European countries taking over, will this turn into you thinking that the second half of the 19th century was a time of European dominance or a time that lead to European dominance. Great job writing this intro, I like where you are planning to take your essay.
      Good Job Lex!

      Delete
    3. I like it how you included how another country was influenced with all of the changes in Europe. I would maybe give a more specific answer to the question. Maybe narrow down the amount of events that you talk about to make it a bit more specific. Other than that you did a great job!

      Delete
    4. From Lauren Weiss:
      Great job MaryAnn! I think this is an awesome start to your essay. I like how you started broad with your topic and then narrowed down your ideas in your thesis. I would try and see if you could directly connect the idea of social changes with the Industrial Revolution - what specific parts of the Industrial Revolution caused social changes? I would also see if you could change the wording a bit to make your ideas more concise, such as when you say "social changes happened by the effect of". Overall, great job! - Lauren W.

      Delete
    5. Thank you for your feedback. I see that I tried to cover many topics and will probably need to narrow them down a bit and focus on more specific topics. Thank you for showing the points you liked and I will work on making my points more concise.

      Delete
  24. The second half of the nineteenth century was a period of social and economic changes. This period of time was changed by Romanticism, Revolutions, and Industrialization. Romanticism brought social changes through the way people thought and interpreted information formed from influential people like Beethoven. The decline of the Ottoman Empire lead to more territory available and the advancement of new thinking. This decline also lead to the revolutions of 1848 which changed the way the political and social world worked. Industrialization changed 19th century economics with new forms of power and energy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a great start. I really like how you specifically reference Beethoven and the Ottoman Empire. However, the sentence "Romanticism brought social changes through... people like Beethoven."Doesn't really flow. I get what you're trying to say but it could be worded a little better. How did the Revolutions of 1848 change the social world? (Also capitalize 'revolutions') Also I'm not sure if you can use Revolutions of 1848 because it's before 1850, but ask Daniel about that. You mention the Ottoman Empire without explaining how it fits into your thesis, did the new territory result in economic change and the "advancements of new thinking" social? (This was how I interpreted it) Just clear this up. Overall I think you had really good ideas but they are a little vague and could flow better.

      Delete
    2. Great job with including events as well as influential people. I would combine the last two sentences in some way to make a thesis. Also I would include a specific even that caused social changes, the same with economic.

      Delete
    3. You have a lot of good examples of how specific things changed either social or economic problems, however not ones that show that they both changed. I think that the examples you have work really well, but you just need to show more of a connection between all social, economic, and your example.
      Also, you began to talk about the political changes, but this has more of a focus on the social and economic changes. Therefore, if you wanted to talk more about political shifts maybe change your thesis a bit.
      Finally, remember to put your thesis at the end so the reader is sure of what you're arguing.
      Overall this is a really great start Ashby! Keep it up :)

      Delete
    4. To MaryAnn Quintana Thank you for your views. I did somewhat talk about examples of social changes "Romanticism brought social changes through the way people thought and interpreted information formed from influential people like Beethoven." should i add more to that?
      To Tatianah Summers: so I have different examples for both social and economic. Are you saying that I should have one example that shows changes in both? Thank you i will switch my thesis statement to the end and forces less on political.
      To Josie Mottram: Thank you for the in sites on grammar i always struggle with that. Considering the prompt didn't specifically say 1850-1900s and said later 19th century i figured it would be alright to use something from 1848. I will verify with Mr. Daniels thank you for bringing that to my attention. I will also explain how more territory from the decline of the ottoman empire effected the economy.

      Delete
  25. The late 1800s were a time of change in all aspects of life in Europe, especially in social and economic spheres. The second half of the nineteenth century was a period of economic and social change because of the increasing ability to mass produce in factories, the large number of workers that worked for low wages, the emergence of new industries including railroads, and the differences in opinions between capitalists, communists, and socialists. This is evidenced by the growth of corporations, economic plans such as Zollverein, and the creation of working towns.The results of these drastic changes were a growing wage gap between the rich and the poor, societal desire for restructuring governments such as in Germany, and a growing importance of city life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is really good so far Marina! You structured the whole paragraph in an easy-to-read fashion that gets your main points across. Also, your details and examples look like they will end up supporting a very strong essay. Although there are a few things that might either need to be fixed, or worded differently. Starting with a few of your examples about the change during the second half of the nineteenth century. You said, “…increasing ability to mass produce in factories, the large number of workers that worked for low wages, the emergence of new industries including railroads…”, but some of these were most prominent in the first half of the nineteenth century or at least emerged a little earlier. They're great details but you may need to introduce them in a different way. You also may wish to add a little more detail such as describing Zollverein. But overall, this is a really great introduction!

      Delete
    2. Thanks!! Your advice about the timing of events in history is really helpful so that I can have more era-specific answer. What kind of information should I add about the Zollverein? I think I will describe what it is and describe what its specific intentions were to aid Germany. Anything else necessary for Zollverein? And should I talk a little bit more about the effects of "...increasing ability to mass produce in factories, the large number of workers that worked for low wages, the emergence of new industries including railroads..." instead of just stating them? Thank you so much!

      Delete
    3. Mostly, the main thing was that some people, who aren't reading the essay with prior knowledge of the period, may be a bit confused. For Zollverein, just maybe give a quick description or lead-in so that they can under exactly what it is. Then for "...increasing ability to mass produce in factories, the large number of workers that worked for low wages, the emergence of new industries including railroads...", you don't really have to re-write a whole essay with new effects and all, but rather just introduce that sentence in a different way. Because, yet again for people who don't have prior knowledge, it would give off incorrect knowledge on the era. Maybe just don't say that they were part of the second half but rather that they emerged during the first half, but then growing and influences the second. Hopefully that helps a little!!

      Delete
  26. The second half of the nineteenth century was a period of economic change and saw drastic and revolutionary changes in social and political attitudes. The western world, under the influence of the political revolution and democracy in America, pushed firmly for egalitarian forces to come to play in their own world and become disenchanted with the rich. Simultaneously, the industrialization of Europe allowed for the emergence of a healthy middle class. At the turn of the century, the Europe of one hundred years prior was a radically different, and in many ways superior, economic, political, and social continent than the one that it had been.

    The Revolutions of 1848 were a symbol of the attitude shift that occurred during this time. The French Revolution and the Revolutions of 1848 had very similar causes; the proletariat demanded equal rights and opportunity. These revolutions started primarily in Italy, and were driven by different things in different regions, ranging from hunger to taxation. Though incredibly violent, short, and ultimately unsuccessful in changing any sort of profound revolution, they were a startling symbol for the kind of changes that would come. All across Europe, citizens demonstrated a clear desire to make a change in the policy and political ideologies of the nation. Although through much of history, Europe had been ruled by kings or been a Republic, there was a beginning in a shift towards democratically ruled states. These changes were the catalyst for a movement into a socially and politically progressive twentieth century.

    Particularly in Great Britain, the Industrial Revolution brought a whole new layer to the heated debates regarding the economic inequality throughout Europe. As technological advances boomed, jobs in factories and at manufacturing professions significantly increased. Ordinary workers had the opportunity to work in these industrialized professions and earn a decent wage, producing a burgeoning middle class. These factories were often home to horrifying working conditions, long hours, abuse, and child labor. Laws dictating the extent to which this could occur would be drafted later, but for the time being, factory workers, although underpaid and maltreated to significant extents, were the start of a middle class that would erupt in the twentieth century and prove robust to the present day in comparison around the world.

    20th century Europe proved to be a radically different social and economic climate than that at the beginning of the 19th century. Throughout the 1800s, revolutionists and brilliant thinkers transformed the social climate, encouraging egalitarianism and democracy, often at the expense of life through violent revolutions, and improved the economics of Europe by creating a middle class and producing additional jobs for the average employee. Changes that took place in these hundred years continue to impact Europeans.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well. First. You weren't supposed to write the whole essay aha. I’m going to look at the intro first and then go to the rest of the essay. Proofreading is nice. But overall it’s a pretty decent introduction. There’s not a hugely song central thesis expressed; the connection between the industrialization and the healthy middle class (especially in regards to how it relates to social and political change) is not clear. The connection between Europe and America also does not seem like the best out of the political causes for disenchantment with the rich.
      In terms of the rest of the essay. The essay as a whole could benefit from specific examples, the analysis is good but without hard facts the essay is strongly lacking. Again proofreading could be nice. The revolutions of 1848 do not relate to the thesis in terms of the connection to the American Revolution. The ideas are pretty good but the continuity of the essay and the flow isn’t too great and specific examples could be used. Transition sentences are nice to have. The conclusion was good but it didn’t connect back to the thesis that well either.

      Delete
    2. Sorry I forgot to copy over my questions section. Were there specific ways that Europe was improved? Is there change in the other direction as well? Are the political changes described under the changes to wealth distribution? Is there a more concise way to state some of your thesis?

      Delete
  27. The second half of the nineteenth century was a period characterized by developing nationalist ideals, great technological improvement, sweeping political change, and a fundamental reshaping of economies across the globe. Much of this change was brought about by the Napoleonic Wars and their residual effects, as well as flourishing scientific discovery; the rise of capitalism also had a massive effect on many of the social and economic changes that occurred throughout the century. Through these major economic and social changes during this time period, the world (especially Europe) became truly modernized in the second half of the nineteenth century.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like how you you listed some of the events that led to the way that Europe came to be the way that it is. On thing that I would add at the end of your paragraph would be some minor details. When you are talking about the social and economic changes, I would suggest putting in a way or event that you are thinking of. Other than that look like you are good to go!

      Delete
    2. This is a really great intro! I like how you had larger ideas and explained how they related to the social and economic changes. I would try using some more specific examples of what your talking about, therefore the reader can have a better understanding of what you're trying to convey. All in all great job GB!

      Delete
    3. Thank you for the feedback, guys! I'll definitely include more specific support for my contention when I edit this, I have a few events in mind so I'll just select from among those.

      Delete
  28. The nineteenth century was one of much progress, peace, and tremendous social and economic change and advancement. The Industrial Revolution which had begun in England during the second half of the eighteenth century, spread throughout all of Europe, creating many changes in the economy and the roles of people in society. Machine labor took over for human labor as large scale production became more prominent. Coal and the steam engine became dominant forces, then leading to oil, steel, electricity, and internal combustion engines later in the century. With all of these advances, the social as well as the economic setting changed. During the course of the massive industrial revolution throughout Europe, the economy shifted to a factory system in which division of labor, standardization, and the assembly line became more conspicuous. Socially, Europe saw cities grow larger, more attention was paid to education, and humanitarianism appeared more as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice Emma! I like this a lot because you initially talk about the peace of the time which is something not talked about in a lot of the others. However, I'm a little confused at what you mean by it because although no huge wars were going on, changes we causing revolutions (particularly German and Italian which weren't completely peaceful always). But if you fully develop the peace part of this I kinda see how it would be interesting. You also explain the industrial revolution and kinda what was happening super well. I like how you reference particular inventions to allow the reader to have clear examples of the message you are trying to convey. On a side note, are you only going to talk about the industrial revolution? What about socialism/communism? Romanticism? I think mentioning those things would give your intro more depth and allow you to better fully capture the time period. :)

      Delete
    2. So far this is really good. I understood what you were referring too until the conclusion part. I don't see how you got to the conclusion of education and humanitarianism. (If you were putting it in a different category (social) then explain what they mean and what influenced them)

      Delete
    3. This is a good start, Emma! I like how specific you are with mentioning changes in the century (e.g. coal, steam engine, factories, etc.) but you could elaborate more on how they came about and how they really affected economies and social traits. Since you're leaning more towards effects of the Industrial Revolution, it looks like, there are definitely lots of things you can talk about but have to be careful with what you include since the prompt specifically tells us to only write about the second half of the nineteenth century.

      You have a pretty solid start of what changes occurred in the nineteenth century, but my biggest piece of advice is to specifically explain how they were significant social/economic changes by linking things together. For example, you might write about how technological development of the Industrial Revolution led to the creation of mass industry through factories, which led to a polarization of the inequality between rich and poor and bad conditions for nearly all workers during this time. In turn, as global capitalism manifested itself everywhere across Europe, people spoke out against the disadvantages of that system through Communism. Ya see what I mean? You have very good ideas and topics to present in your paper, but just need to improve by explaining them (and their effects) more thoroughly and directly linking changes to each other. I hope this was helpful, just let me know if you have any other questions!

      Delete
    4. Thanks guys for the comments! I will definitely be a little more clear when defining what I will be talking about and go more into depth to explain the effects. Overall I will just clear things up a bit

      Delete
  29. Throughout the late 18th and early 19th century a series of important political, historical, intellectual, and social events laid the groundwork for more change in the late 19th century. Revolutions cleared political landscapes, new ideas created new political landscapes, and the advancement of technology and intellectual opportunity hastened new developments. The second half of the 19th century was a period of economic and social change because of culminating events and new people, ideas, and visions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Andy I understand your base idea for what your essay would be about but be more specific... what ideas, what advancements, what opportunity. (I know its just an intro but because we aren't actually writing an essay its better to be specific). Also just fix run on sentences.

      Delete
    2. This is a really good start. I like how you used the first sentence to lay the foundation for the essay and then expanded and explained more on it in the second sentence. Personally, I think historical might be a weird adjective to use in the first sentence because all the major events are technically historical. Also, I like your thesis because you use your points above to justify it. (Sam Kail)

      Delete
    3. Thanks Sam for the solid feedback. I think I meant to say economic instead of the historical in the first sentence. Hopefully I can further develop my thesis in the coming paragraphs!

      Delete
  30. The second half of the nineteenth century was a period of social and economic change, the reasoning behind this stems from the innovations in both of those fields. Economic change stemmed from the growing innovations in machinery, that ultimately yielded the result of growing industrialism and mass produced products. Social change stemmed from new social ideas being explored at the time such as, imperialism, communism, and socialism; this resulted in more of a variety of social structures and norms through out the world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel like all of these ideas and event summarize the period but i dont feel as though they are introduced in the most concrete manner, it would be stronger to mention some specific events that led to the economic and social events that you have listed in your paper. generally i believe that some of these ideas aren't incredibly necessary in a wide view of the period and also you should list some specific events.

      Delete
  31. Over time, society evolves just as ideals, people, and technological developments do. With each new ideal or event, society conforms to fit these ideals or to challenge them. Europe experienced large amounts of political, intellectual, economic, and social change throughout the 19th century that connect to as far back as Napoleon and the Congress of Vienna. During the second half of the 19th century, new developments in technology, changes in art and literature, and political movements sparked from Napoleon’s rule, the congress of Vienna, Imperialism, and Nationalism.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great job Emily! I like how you started broad, and then narrowed down your topic by explaining how "society conforms to fit...". The wording is a bit confusing when you say "connect to as far back as". Maybe just state at the beginning of the sentence where these political, intellectual, economic, and social changes stem from (or this isn't even necessary because your reader already knows that you are talking about the 19th century). I would mention "buckets" of your thesis that are more specific to the 19th century. For example, technological developments THROUGH the Industrial Revolution. Overall, great job!

      Delete
    2. Thank you Lauren! I will definitely reword that second sentence. I am a little confused about what you mean by "buckets" though. I was in Burdick's APUSH class last year so I never really learned that! Maybe you could explain it to me sometime :) Thank you for your feedback

      Delete
  32. The late nineteenth century was the quality of life in cities, and had improved dramatically for the working class and ordinary people. The population began to increase which lead to new markets for products and a larger labor market. The economic stability throughout Europe allowed for businessmen to invest in new enterprises and discover new markets. The social and economic difference between the lower and upper classes continued and industrial growth created a new way of life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Juana, this looks great so far, but I would add or change a few things to make it even better! I would add specific reasons about why the population was increasing and why there was economic stability (maybe Industrial Revolution bettering the lives of people, etc.) Also I would add specific reasons about how social and economic changes created a new way of life. Finally, I would change your wording of your first sentence. If you do these I think you will have a strong intro paragraph!

      Delete
    2. Thanks Maddie! Now looking back on my intro paragraph It does make more sense adding in why there was an economic stability, and further explain the reasons for social and economic change. I will definitely reward the first sentence.

      Delete
  33. For what reasons, and with what results, was the second half of the nineteenth century a period of
    social and economic change?

    In the second half of the nineteeth century, Europe went through drastic changes and upheval due to economic and social strife. In economics, it was due to changes in the systems of urbanizations and factory systems that revamped the social classes while in social it was due to what these conditions leaded too, as well as strife between classes due to new unearthing ideas of equality and the rising of the middle class.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe mention some specific events that lead to these changes? Also, you could discuss other movements such as the rising of scientific ideas and imperialism. I suggest going into more depth concerning how you would back up your claims in your following body paragraphs. Otherwise, great job!

      Delete
    2. Good job Maddie! I like how you mentioned both economic and social changes that both related back to urbanization. There are a few grammar errors such as leaded instead of led and upheval instead of upheaval. Your examples are well thought out, but maybe add some specific times that each of these changes occurred. Elaborate on the specific causes in specific countries because setting the events in a place will strengthen the whole paragraph. Your ideas are really solid! One specific place that I think you should add details is when you are talking about "new ideas of equality and the rise of the middle class." What caused these new ideas? What are some examples of these changes? I really like how you answered the question fully! Good job!

      Delete
    3. Thank you! The grammatical errors came from typing on a phone I think, a little less formal! I will have to elaborate a lot more now that I look at it, it was pretty minimalistic compared to what I think would be needed in the typical introduction. I feel like including these specifics will help the essay itself become stronger as a whole because it will lay a definite outline with attention to detail rather than too broad of a spectrum for body paragraphs. Thank you!!!

      Delete
  34. The mid nineteenth century was an impactful time of social and economic change throughout the world resulting in international governmental reform and permanent technological advances. Driving forces of this change included the rise of socialism as a prominent form of government, increased industrialization, and the revolutions of 1848 across Europe. These factors brought about new political styles, technological advances, and an overall better connected world. (Sam Kail)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think this is a good intro paragraph. You could work on developing your ideas more throughout the paragraph. I can see where you will go from here, but some specific examples would help to develop your information a little further. Otherwise, great job!

      Delete
    2. Your ideas are good but should be connected more directly (its slightly confusing due to wording). Add comas in the first sentence. how did all the things result in international gov reform and permanent tech advances. (I understand that its only an intro but be more specific because we aren't actually writing a paper).

      Delete
    3. Thanks for the feedback Lex! I will incorporate some specific examples of some of the ideals or leaders of the 19th century change to help develop my essay. I value your feedback.-(Sam Kail)

      Delete
  35. The late half of the nineteenth century was a period of social and economic change that bred rise to a before-unseen world in which progress moved at a rhythm which was not dictated by the labor of men, but enhanced by the rhythm of machines. Within this period prosperity was brought upon by the large-scale enlightenment and the movement of the industrial revolution. Both of these colossal events did much to urbanize the known world and brought forth new ideologies and scientific minds. New social and economic understandings differed with those of old, leading to conformity whether through the adopting of new ideologies or by brutal uprising. The new ideas that came from this era helped do much to turn the tables in Eurasian power and affected the way we think even today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You seem to do a good job setting up an essay- your "events" being enlightenment and the industrial revolution. I do not believe that the enlightenment applies as well as it could to the social scene at the time, as it was not insignificantly earlier, though. The effects section is well-developed and gives you a lot to talk about. THe largest critique I have would then be that your writing is not in a formal tone. It is written as a narrative more than a factual essay, and relies too heavily on prose and cliche. Remember, this will be timed, so verbosity is not necessarily good.

      Delete
    2. I guess that would make more sense in the context of the essay, i agree with you that the events that i have chosen give opportunity to go in depth and i feel as though they are strong enough to build my essay around. Around the writing seeming too cliche and not formal i agree but i feel as though to a certain extent this was exaggerated. Regardless, thank you

      Delete
  36. Throughout the first half of the nineteenth century, the Industrial Revolution and the Romantic Era put forth many advancements. This allowed for the social and economic advancements caused by the industry and the arts, music and literature to develop. These social and economic changes were greatly increased throughout the second half of the nineteenth century, by producing art, and strengthened the economic stability by the growth of industry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This paragraph covers the subject very neatly Jim, good introduction too, very straight to the point without pesky scruples of unrelated background information. Overall there could be work done on addressing what exact advancements were brought on by the Romantic Era and the Industrial Revolution instead of just writing "many", but for me this here paragraph is worthy of a legendary A grade my good sir.

      Delete
    2. I think that you've opened up well to write body paragraphs. However, grammatically it could use some work. In the last sentence you should keep the verbs parallel, producing and 'strengthening'. I also think you should try to combine sentence 1 and 2 to make it more concise. Lastly I would recommend removing the word 'were' from sentence 3. Great job!

      Delete
    3. Thanks for the feedback Max! You're suggestions are definitely helpful, and I will use them to better my introduction. I will also take this advice into consideration when writing and editing my full essay! Thanks!

      Delete
  37. The second half of the nineteenth century was a period of social and economic change because of movements such as the Enlightenment and the Industrial Revolution. These events brought forth new ways of thinking and new ways of life through urbanization and the acceptance of more scientific and factual ideas. New norms for labor drastically changed society’s everyday life, and conflict arose as new ideas clashed with old ones. Those who wanted to stick to the old ways that they were comfortable with resented those who desired to bring about a new way of perceiving life. The poor grew poorer as the Industrial revolution brought about worsening work conditions. Although, the Industrial Revolution did in fact benefit the economy greatly. Imperialism widely expanded cultures to incorporate more traditions. The Enlightenment and the Industrial Revolution turned the tables on European life throughout the nineteenth century and made impacts that are still present today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First of all, great work! However, there are some points you should develop more. For example, in line 2, you name the Enlightenment and the Industrial Revolution but you only talk about the consequences. Perhaps, a little reminder on what those two events actually were, would be nice?
      Your introduction is primarily concentrated on the social changes in the nineteenth century. Is there a particular reason why you did not discuss the economics changes?
      But overall, good job, you managed to cover the majority of the social issues of this period.

      Delete
    2. I think that you make some really good points, I will definitely keep that in mind in the future. I sort of touched on the economic state, but I agree that I should go into more detail. I would definitely strengthen my points regarding specific events. Thank you for your suggestions! :)

      Delete
  38. The second half of the nineteenth century in Europe was an era of new social and intellectual ideals, political reforms, economic increase, and imperial conquests throughout the world. The intellectual and social ideals changed the way individuals looked at societal conditions, political reforms challenged the old order of nations by revolutions, economic increase showed the growth of Europe, and imperial conquests resulted in the gain of land, raw materials, and natural resources. Specifically, the economic changes that were most prominent were found through industrialization, and the boost in new factories and technology. Additionally, the economic increase as a result of Imperialism throughout the continents of Africa, Asia, and the Middle East was exceedingly great. The social changes that were most significant throughout Europe were the growing ideas of communism and socialism. In a communist society, individuals of the working class own everything and these things are shared equally throughout the community in the form of the needs of individuals, instead of skill and working hours. However, in a socialist society, these same standards apply but to a lesser extreme, while focusing on the inequalities of the working class as capitalism emerged.

    The Conclusion paragraph will cohere the results of social and economic changes during the second half of the nineteenth century and the reasons of the significance of these things to how/why the history of Europe played out the way it did during the this time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is really great, and I really like the way that you expanded on your ideas. But, what are some specific examples of events that you would use to support your claims? Also, what are some of the negative effects of things such as imperialism and new scientific ideas? Maybe go into more depth concerning how these events actually affected European society.

      Delete
    2. I can add some negative effects certainly, but I do not want to go into so much specific details that it gets me into the contents of the body paragraphs. I know this is not a language arts essay, but I'm certain that the more broadened and focused the topic is, the easier it will be to write about it in the body paragraphs. The details are for the body paragraphs, but for the introduction, I think that the examples that I used briefly described the era and at the same time described the general social and economic sectors/points that I think was most prominent and stood out to me.

      Delete
  39. The period of social and economic change that occurred during the second half of the nineteenth century can be attributed to many different reasons. With the ongoing growth of industrialism, considerable changes in the social and economic structure in Europe took place as new innovations created the need for more large-scale factories. Social change during this time can also be attributed to the emergence of imperialism. With the booming economy from the Industrial Revolution, the powerful nations of Europe were ready to expand their powers to create greater and more powerful nations. Between the increase in the amount of large-scale factories and the emergence of imperialism, the second half of the nineteenth century unwittingly became a period of social and economic change.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good job on your introductory sentence. It brings us “smoothly” in the subject. You named different events you thought responsible of the “big changes”, however, you maybe could have discussed more on what these changes brought and how they happened (I know this is just an intro, but a little more detail could be perfect). Also, why did you associate imperialism with social change? You should briefly explain why in your introduction.
      Overall though, great job!

      Delete
    2. Candace, this is a good start! I think that all of your ideas are really good and will make good topics to write about in an essay. I am just a little bit confused on how you would structure this essay though, and what your main thesis is. You sort of talk about industrialism in both economic and social structure, then imperialism in just social, then the industrialism again, then imperialism. But then in your last sentence you sort of pull things together with factories and imperialism. I think that all of these ideas are really good, it just might make more sense to reword it and end with a strong thesis to set up categories that you could organize a coherent essay with!

      Delete
    3. Leila, thanks for the feedback! I'll definitely add more detail to make everything come together more smoothly and would definitely explain why I associated imperialism with social change.

      Ginger Emma! Thanks for the feedback! I agree with your comment on how it might be hard to structure the essay, I will definitely work on that. And I will end with a stronger thesis and use more "bucket" categories to make them more specific.

      Delete
  40. Ellen Huggins
    The second half of the nineteenth century was a period of economic and social change in Europe because of the evolving climate of what it meant to be a citizen of a country, and the differing ideals in nationalism that came along with it. These resulted in unrest that lead to changes in leadership during this time period, but ultimately increased the amount of nationalism felt by citizens and created a greater identity for Europe in general.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. led not lead. You should say due to the evolving climate instead of because of, it sounds smarter. The last sentence after the comma doesn't make sense. You should replace the "but" with "and" if you are saying that the ideas in the first sentence ultimately increased nationalism. Or if you are saying that the changes in leadership led to increased nationalism, replace the "but" with "that".
      I think that you should broaden your main ideas by saying a specific cause for the evolving climate, and then talk about the results of that in the rest of your essay.You also don't really talk about how it was a period of economic change.

      Delete
  41. The second half of the nineteenth century was a period of economic change due to the Industrial Revolution that resulted in an increase in population, and social changes due to the French Revolution that resulted a push for freedom and equality. In the Industrial Revolution, industrialization led to a population increase which in turn led to urbanization, when people began to move to cities in search of jobs. Working conditions worsened and industrial capitalism emerged. The French Revolution caused new ideals that eventually led to the abolition of monarchies and spread of democracy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isabel, these are some great ideas! Maybe you could specify in what other parts of Europe the industrial revoluition effected, not just France. And although it's good that you bring up working conditions, maybe you can keep that in one of your body paragraphs rather than the introduction paragraph. Just try to keep it a little more general so that you have plenty to elaborate on later. Other than that, this is replay great! good job- Ellen H

      Delete
    2. Thats a good idea ellen h, I will use a broader term like revolutions in general in my thesis and make one of my main ideas the french revolution. Thanks!

      Delete
  42. The second half of the nineteenth century was a time of change based on contradicting views in Europe on the social and economic aspects of society. During this time period, there were many social changes because of the emerging enlightenment ideals and the ruling of France by Napoleon; there were also many economic changes that were the result of technological advancements of the Industrial Revolution.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice job Lolo! I think your idea for social and economic change are great. You forgot the conclusion sentence for your introduction paragraph, so don't forget that if we actually write this. In the conclusion sentence make sure you take the ideas that you wrote down in your "main idea" sentence and connect them back the social and economic changes in Europe. If you want you could add an example or two of the enlightenment ideals, ruling of France, or advancements during the Industrial Revolutions but I don't think this is necessary, it may just make it more detailed for the reader to know what to expect while reading the paper. Overall, great job!

      Delete
    2. Thank you for the feedback! I will definitely add a concluding sentence - I didn't know that was required, I thought I was just supposed to end with the thesis. I will also connect my main idea to the social and economic changes by adding specific examples (I agree that it is too broad right now). Thanks again, Madeline!!!

      Delete
  43. The second half of the nineteenth was a time period of both socially and economically changed by creating new opportunities for nations to gain further resources and by influencing the view of racism of many. Economically, the rise of new inventions brought by industrialization, such as advancements of the steam engine and cotton factories, changed the course of the nineteenth century by changing how people live their lives, as well as goods immediately available to various nations. Socially, the view of racism toward non-white people was changed during the nineteenth century due to sources such as, “The White Man’s Burden,” which became a euphemism for imperialism. These changes that occurred during this century were influential to the course of history.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not too bad Hugo. You could use a little work in regarding sentence structure, defining the period given, and broadening your examples a bit(look at mine).
      Here are specific questions you should consider to enhance your introductory paragraph: where was industrialization present? How did this and other factors (include other factors) influence the boost in economic prosperity in Europe? Did individuals benefit also, if yes, like whom? How were the economic and social changes influential? Which nations were economically prosperous, and which sections of nations (continents) weren't prosperous?

      Later: how about the conclusion, how would that look like if it was outlined?


      -Manny ;)

      Delete
    2. I agree with Manny on sentence structure, but other than that Hugo, you have crafted a masterpiece. This paragraph gives exceptional contrast on the rise of industrialism, and how the publication of "White Man's Burden" had such an effect on racism. This memorable paragraph should be on a plaque for a memorial.

      Delete
  44. The 19th century was the century of social and economic change due to mass production, technological innovation,and territorial expansion. These are only mere examples of social and economic change, however just as mass production allowing for economic growth there were social downfalls that came along with it concerning the workers; or technological innovations such as railroads allowing for social connections to thrive and territorial expansions were also connected to social burdens. As a result of social and economic changes...reforms were made and passed, ideas were communicated and objects were created and passed and cultures began to clash in the nineteenth century. -Marylou (just in case my username didn't show up)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. From Mallory B.
      I like that you mentioned the downfall of the era as well. Many people only talked about the good changes it caused. I think you should go into more detail about what caused the the changes. You might have a different view of it than I do and maybe it could help me understand what happened better. It was great that you mentioned a lot of different changes, just try to explain them a little more.

      Delete
  45. The shift to a mechanized Europe was a prevalent theme throughout the second half of the nineteenth century.
    The transfer to a country that relied on excessive manufacturing rather than the work of the individuals led to many social and economical changes. A turn towards nature amongst a society urbanized by industrialization resulted in new art forms, such as impressionism, and other social changes including the push towards living in an urbanized environment. Economic changes were inspired from these technological advances, shown alongside social changes as the economy moved to one that centers around things produced in mechanized factories, and nations could no longer depend on the loans provided by allies if they lacked money backed by gold.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Connect your thesis more to the actual prompt. In what way did they rely on manufacturing. What economic changes were inspired from these technological advances. What specific social changes. Is your main conclusion that they couldn't depend on loans. Just try to relate back to the actual prompt more. The ideas themselves are good just organize as well

      Delete
  46. The second half of the nineteenth century is an era categorized as a period of great social and economic change through advancements in technology, changes in political policies, and a development of nationalist ideals. A majority of this change was brought about by the Napoleonic wars and the Congress of Vienna, which ignited a sense of nationalism in many countries as well as new political ideas such as Otto Von Bismarck's implication of Realpolitik. Industrialism and the rise of capitalism also contributed greatly to the technological as well as economic transformations during this time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great job Anna! I really like all of the thoughts you have here! I think you do a really good job of addressing both social and economic changes effectively. You also give an insight as to why these changes happened, which I think is a really powerful way to start your essay as it draws connections to earlier in history and makes your essay feel relevant.
      The only criticism I have is that I think you could maybe think about re-ordering your thoughts a little bit to make it easier to follow and more powerful. When you talk about how the majority of the change was brought by the Napoleanic wars, the Congress of Vienna, etc., I think this would be a good way to start the introduction as it sets the stage for why the changes you are about to talk about came about. Also, I think you would benefit from stating clearly which changes are social and which ones are economic. It is pretty clear at the end which ones are economic but you have good social changes that I think it could be more clear what they are.
      You have really strong ideas here and I think you have set yourself up for a super successful essay!

      Delete
    2. Thanks so much for your advice! Yes I definitely agree that my ideas could be stated more clearly in my intro. I always have trouble with narrowing down my thoughts into three points or categories, so that's really good advice! I will also take a closer look at which specefic social changes occurred during this time to include in my intro. Thanks again for the thoughtful feedback!

      Delete
  47. Mae Cosgrove
    Feb. 18, 2015

    For what reasons, and with what results, was the second half of the nineteenth century a period of social and economic change?

    Throughout history, many diverse movements and developments have shaped the past of the modern world. In particular, the late nineteenth century was a time of great social and economic change because of major industrialization. The production of more goods provided economic acceleration as they were able to be exported. It also caused many people to move closer to the cities to find work, and ultimately resulted in the popular rise of urbanization. Inevitably, this sparked debates of socialism to accompany the increases in manufacturing. The population were far from unity, however. The romantic movement introduced feelings of individualism, which made for an insignificant communal society. People preferred to do things for themselves, believing their own needs far more significant than those of others, causing breakages and societal struggles. The second half of the nineteenth century was a major period of social and economic change due, in part, to the evolution of intellectual ideas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This sounds awesome so far! Your thesis seemed a little bit unclear- maybe mention romanticism, communism, and individualism in your thesis too instead of just industrialization? Also, this sentence is a little bit confusing: "The population were far from unity, however."- I would just try to clean that up. Also, maybe delete the first sentence. I get that it makes it more interesting, but it isn't necessary and I think it might be better if you just got straight to the point. Overall, though I think you had some really valid ideas and this is super well written! Great job bud!

      Delete
  48. MaryAnn Quintana
    This is my paragraph:
    In the post French Revolution Era, there were social and economic changes. During the second half of the nineteenth century, the Industrial Revolution took over Europe. This revolution greatly impacted these social and economic changes through out the next century. In Europe, social changes happened by the effect of urbanization, and the economy changed with the increase of factory produced products, and the growth of new ideas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that the ideas you have in your paragraph are great ideas, however the flow of your paragraph is quite choppy. I recommend starting your paragraph of with a statement that sets the scene for your essay, and then follow that opening sentence with your thesis statement. It looks like you tried to do that already, however your opening statement was very broad and vague. Try expanding on your ideas by stating specific social and economic changes. These changes should be relevant to setting up your thesis. In addition, I think that your thesis is good, however it is choppy. Try combining all your main ideas into one sentence so your thesis remains clear, focused, and tells the reader exactly what you will be talking about in your essay. After your thesis, I think that you could expand on the ideas you states in your thesis, and talk about how they were influential changes in the second half of the nineteenth century. Overall, i think that the main ideas you have here are very good, just try to have your first paragraph flow a little better, and make your thesis more focused. Thanks!

      Delete
    2. This sounds great Maryann! I would work to make it flow a little better though- maybe start by talking about just economic and then just social? You could probably include a couple more examples too that you would want to expand on later because just one for each probably isn't enough to build an entire essay off of. Overall, though, you made some really great points and it sounds awesome so far!

      Delete
    3. Thanks for the suggestions! I did think that my paragraph was a bit choppy, but wasn't sure how to make if flow. Ill use your ideas Thanks!!

      Delete
  49. The second half of the nineteenth century was a time of economic change for many countries but also a time for social change. Europe's economic development is found in the unity of new countries, like Italy and Germany. Italy's unification after some rebellions, made the weak, separated states into a stronger, unified country. Germany had the three "Blood and Iron Wars" for unification before it became a single nation. Social changes are found in the many revolutions of 1848 where the European people demanded better living and working conditions in the new urban and industrialized cities. The second half of the nineteenth century had many impacts on the people of Europe, but economically and socially, the new countries and inventions changed citizens lives drastically.
    -Raquel Walker

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Make sure you make the connection between how the revolutions and unity of new countries connect to economic developments. For social changes provide why did they demand better living conditions, and possibly what lead to the bad conditions.

      Delete
    2. Thank you Brisa! Making connections to my ideas with the outcomes of people's choices would really help my writing be more fluid. Thanks for your input on my paragraph.

      Delete
  50. The 19th century was a time of dramatic change in all aspects; however, the period was most affected and characterized by the social and economic evolutions that occurred. Developments like the industrial revolution and communism and socialism, affected the daily lives of people of all classes, along with influencing the political and intellectual changes as well, truly making this a period of transformation on a wide reaching and varied scale. The industrial revolution occurred by reason of population growth, nationalism, and availability and demand of key resources, and led to technological advancements such as the steam engine, steel and iron production, and inventions (such as the spinning jenny and the flying shuttle) within the textile industry. These advancements not only altered the lives of the bosses who used them to build a fortune, but the workers who were affected by the rapid urbanization and transition to a life full of unemployment, poor conditions, and the loss of skilled work to machinery. In addition, The Communist Manifesto, published in 1848 outlined a new radical political, economic, intellectual, but predominantly social critique of the current world order that advocated for the rise of the proletariat over the bourgeoise. This suggestion of total equality and dissolution of class, along with the less extreme values of socialism (which aimed to fairly distribute rewards from production to the common people) would gather widespread support and shape the way people saw the world, leading to models of government in utopian communities and even entire countries. Thus, socially and economically, the second half of the nineteenth century marked dramatic change in Europe, especially in how these changes affected and regarded the common man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very well written, good job pal! Just in general, some of your sentences seem a little wordy. I don't think you need to be as specific as you were for the intro paragraph because ideally you could write them out in your body paragraphs. I like the ideas you included in there, though! You showed really strong connections between events and how they affect each other. Maybe in your thesis, make clear what "these changes" means and make it flow a little more. Overall, very well written and profound!

      Delete
  51. Mallory Burbage -
    The Industrial Revolution was one of the biggest parts of the nineteenth century. Not only did it lead to great inventions like the steam engine, it helped the middle class workers discover their true worth. Through this, many reforms were created to more evenly distribute wealth and power. Democratic ideals were becoming more popular as well, and more political beliefs such as communism and socialism were discovered. Romanticism was also great for the population because as they turned to art, literature, and technology they could interpret things their own way now, not everything was established by the church and a single idea didn't have to be followed. Everyone was more determined to express their beliefs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have good broad ideas here, but I think you should be more specific. Mention the specific democratic ideals that were becoming more popular. What about the art, literature, and and technology made romanticism good for the population? However, don’t be too specific as to limit your writing in future paragraphs. Also, be more specific when defining the era of the essay. The prompt asks for the second half of the nineteenth century, when you only mention the century broadly. Once you’ve brought your out all your ideas in this paragraph, what would your conclusion look like? Be sure to outline that.

      Delete
  52. Sammie Killmer -
    The second half of the nineteenth century was an important time as social and economic change proved prevalent all across Europe. As the Industrial Revolution began to accelerate the production of capital, the shift between a mercantilist society and capitalist society took place. Many moved from the rural areas to larger cities looking for job opportunities within the factories to keep up with the high demands of the new capitalist market. Due to the popularity of urbanization, a surge of nationalism was founded as well. This resulted in the unification of both the Italian and Germanic states (in 1815 and 1871 respectively). The social structure in Europe up until the rise of modernization was more lax than the rigid class systems that formed after the Industrial Revolution.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like your paragraph overall, its to the point, and has a nice thesis statement. You could be less specific with things like years and going into the effects of industrialization so that you can put those things and more into your body paragraphs. I think your ideas set up the rest of your essay really well. Very nice start!

      Delete
  53. The second half of the nineteenth century marked one of the largest economic and social revolutions the world had yet seen. In the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries, Europe watched its population grow to nearly 175% of its previous state, primarily due to the introduction of more stable crops such as potatoes. This growing population forced people to innovate to be able to provide for themselves. In many economies, this would be devastating, but in the booming European one, with its trade advantages, was in a perfect state to take advantage. This had two primary effects; it kick-started the industrial revolution, and tended to force people away from traditional beliefs to those more rooted in science, liberalism, and free-market capitalism. These social and economic changes served to revolutionize European society, with far-reaching impacts well beyond the borders of Western Europe itself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eli,
      A good set up for the introduction giving you key points to elaborate on in the body of your work. I would look to see consideration as the argument develops for urbanization in those industrial centers and its diverse impact in industrial innovation, shifting political views, and cultural allegiances. On another note, the inclusion of the potato, while undeniably a key staple crop, begs for attention towards the impact of the blight in the mid-1800s across Europe.

      Delete
  54. The second half of the nineteenth century expanded economically, socially, politically, and intellectually in many ways. The Industrial Revolution, unarguably, drove the increase in production and arguably population as a result of many factors. The new emerging ideas of communism and socialism helped to drive forward intellectual thought. The dividing up of Africa by the major nations was a hugely important part of almost every aspect (P.I.E.S) and had significant lasting impacts. People also began to read and write for themselves, expanding individual thought and collaboration as well. The new idea of imperialism also changed many things, politically and economically. Overall, it was a time of great change and growth.

    -benny boy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like this, Ben! My only pieces of advice are to elaborate a bit further on how the things you mentioned directly affected social and economic aspects of history. I know the connections are very obvious for anyone with an inkling of historical knowledge, but in writing these you have to be explicitly clear with every contention you make. The Industrial Revolution and communism are great things to talk about, as they had the largest direct impact on the social and economic landscape of Europe and the rest of the world. The scramble for Africa was good to mention too, although as a wording thing I wouldn't recommend bringing up the acronym PIES because, theoretically, the IB grader might not know what that means. The reasoning behind it is perfectly valid since the scramble for Africa included all 4 parts of PIES, but I think it'd be better to just write that out rather than abbreviating it that way. All of your ideas in this paragraph are sound, but the biggest thing is to elaborate explicitly on how they affected social structures and economics. For example, you could say that the Industrial Revolution affected social aspects since it led to mass production, which changed life for everyday urban people since wages were so low and hours were so hard. And for economic, it propelled global capitalism throughout the world since new technologies allowed mass production of goods and the transportation of those goods to anywhere in the world. See what I mean? I know you know how these things are connected so the next step is to put it down on paper (I like to think about it as writing to a person who's completely oblivious to any of the subject; that way, you have to get very specific and clear, which makes anyone's writing much stronger). I hope this was helpful, great job man!

      Delete
    2. From tatianah:
      Overall you have a really great start! I understand that you wanted to focus on all the aspects of PIES, however try on ly focusing on one as that is what the prompt calls for. also I wouldn't directly reference PIES in your essay, but show more examples. finally, maybe try to find specific examples of how two fo the PIES were impacted by one event. All in all it looks really good though Ben! Keep up the good work!

      Delete
  55. Leila Vaucher
    For what reasons, and with what results, was the second half of the nineteenth century a period of social and economic change?


    The second half of the nineteenth century was introduced by the the Revolutions of 1848. This convinced political rulers that change was needed, not only political but also economic and social. After many years of industrial progress, all the new ideas added up to a certain apogee, the Industrial Revolution. It shifted the economy system and deeply impacted the social life in the nineteenth century. It is interesting to consider the outcomes of all these revolutions and changes that have led to the unification in a majority of the European countries. Without the social reforms of the nineteenth century, economical systems would never have evolved.Therefore, this essay will concentrate on explaining why and how the social change occurred in this historical period and how all together they led to unification.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leila,
      You have a nice introduction in the making here. I think more specific mention of how the economic system shifts and which unifications you are going to focus on. Considering your last sentence, make sure you pay attention to both social and economic change in the last half of the 19th century.

      Delete