Western and Northern Europe 1848–1914
Here is our next round of blog work with IB paper 3 samples...
Discuss the importance of either imperialism or emigration for nineteenth century Europe.
We will follow the same basic schedule as before:
First Cut - Your Response.
These should be one paragraph answers, again, think introductory paragraph. You should set the direction, tone and structure of the rest of your essay with the introduction - thesis, main ideas of support you would further develop in the body of the essay, and briefly what your conclusion is. You will have one week to draft and post your response, so postings are due by Friday, April 8th.
Too help you figure out how to develop your intro go here: "Emigration/Imperialism Blogging" on Course web-page.
Part Two: Peer Critique.
You will have one week to reply to someone, be prepared to address several people, they do not need to be in your class section. Critiques should be constructive, inquisitive, helpful, more than a simple praise or complaint. Addendum - please include in your critique at least two questions for the writer to respond to for improved clarity of argument or more specific details for how they are supporting their larger argument.
They will be released first come, first serve to the person you critiqued. So if you are not the first one, you will need to critique another. You will have one week to complete this process, so peer critiques are due by Friday, April 15th.
After Part two is complete I will post the moderator comments from IB for this exam question so you can better craft your replies with consideration for what IB was looking for in this essay.
Part Three: Your Reply.
You will need to reply to the critique. Answer the question(s) posed. Explain in more detail. Honestly consider the insights, inquiries, etc. proffered by your peers. Again you will have one week to complete this final part of the blogging process, so replies are due by Friday, April 22nd.
Any late work will be penalized 10% for everyday it is late, plus it delays the opportunity for you to participate further in this assignment. I look forward to seeing how you apply what we have done so far this semester to the demands of the IB. Gook Luck!
Here is our next round of blog work with IB paper 3 samples...
Discuss the importance of either imperialism or emigration for nineteenth century Europe.
We will follow the same basic schedule as before:
First Cut - Your Response.
These should be one paragraph answers, again, think introductory paragraph. You should set the direction, tone and structure of the rest of your essay with the introduction - thesis, main ideas of support you would further develop in the body of the essay, and briefly what your conclusion is. You will have one week to draft and post your response, so postings are due by Friday, April 8th.
Too help you figure out how to develop your intro go here: "Emigration/Imperialism Blogging" on Course web-page.
Part Two: Peer Critique.
You will have one week to reply to someone, be prepared to address several people, they do not need to be in your class section. Critiques should be constructive, inquisitive, helpful, more than a simple praise or complaint. Addendum - please include in your critique at least two questions for the writer to respond to for improved clarity of argument or more specific details for how they are supporting their larger argument.
They will be released first come, first serve to the person you critiqued. So if you are not the first one, you will need to critique another. You will have one week to complete this process, so peer critiques are due by Friday, April 15th.
After Part two is complete I will post the moderator comments from IB for this exam question so you can better craft your replies with consideration for what IB was looking for in this essay.
Part Three: Your Reply.
You will need to reply to the critique. Answer the question(s) posed. Explain in more detail. Honestly consider the insights, inquiries, etc. proffered by your peers. Again you will have one week to complete this final part of the blogging process, so replies are due by Friday, April 22nd.
Any late work will be penalized 10% for everyday it is late, plus it delays the opportunity for you to participate further in this assignment. I look forward to seeing how you apply what we have done so far this semester to the demands of the IB. Gook Luck!
Growing ideas of liberalism and nationalism across nineteenth century Europe sparked imperialism. Integral nationalism, as well as the opening of markets stemming from the rise of capitalism, drove imperialism due to the need of raw materials to support increased industry. Imperialism was largely successful at first in certain areas, namely Africa and Asia, and contributed to an industrial boom and widespread European control of the globe. However, those powers being controlled began to fight back for their independence and thus caused many negative effects, such as an increase in European military spending. Imperialism was important for nineteenth century Europe in a positive way because it provided natural resources allowing industry to boom, and imperialism was important in a negative way because it heightened negative sentiments against the dominating powers of Europe from those exploited thus setting the stage for the outbreak of the Great War.
ReplyDeleteHi Liz!
DeleteReally great intro paragraph. Your ideas are clear and I know exactly where your essay would lead.
I like the details added that give context to your imperialism arguments by naming the areas it was most successful in ("namely Africa and Asia"), and identifies a problem created because of its success (like European military spending). Your organization, splitting the imperialism effects into negatives and positives is well done too. The split keeps the audience focused on where the essay will be taking them.
One question comes from the very end that talks about Imperialism setting the stage for the Great War. Given that the time frames on these IB questions are so specific, would you limit your essay to the events of the Great War that happened in the 19th century?
Also,in my paragraph, I added some specific examples like "The White Man's Burden" and the Berlin Conference to introduce the support that I wanted to use later on in my essay. Were there any really strong events/support you would plan on using when actually writing your essay?
Awesome job on this paragraph, your hard work really shows and it pushed me to look back at my paragraph for things to change!
Hey Christi!
DeleteThanks for the comment! Great questions! I know it’s sort of hard to see the whole plan/outline that’s in my head when we’re just doing an intro.
To answer your first question: no, I definitely would not limit my essay to the events leading up to WWI during the 19th century. I definitely did take the specific time frame into consideration when writing this, and since I saw that the ending time bound was 1914, it seemed logical to mention how these events set the stage for WWI. Also, now looking at the moderator’s comments, “Importance could include economic gain – or financial drain, expansion, and rivalry, even a cause of war,” I think that it works to mention WWI to conclude addressing how imperialism was important, as long as I do not go in-depth about it/stray off the question.
To answer your second question: yes, I did think about the Berlin Conference and “White Man’s Burden,” as well as some other specific events (hard facts) that I definitely want to include in my essay, but as I was writing my intro, I decided that I had enough details in it and that specific names of places/events/etc. would be better to save for either topic sentences of my body paragraphs or supporting details. I just think I want to save the majority of support for my body paragraphs. These would include: the Berlin Conference, “White’s Man’ Burden,” Scramble for Africa, German and Italian Unification, the Boxer Rebellion, and more.
Hope this clears things up!!
The 19th century in Europe was a time of growth for both Europe as a whole as well as single European nations. This growth stemmed strongly from the newfound spread of imperialism during the time period. The Berlin Conference puts this imperialism in motion and sets the tone for the strategic use of natural resources and the exportation of these materials from European nations. Nationalism also grows as a result of this as nations defend their claims in Africa. Overall, 19h century imperialism in Europe leads to the growth of nations and their distinct standing in the world as a whole.
ReplyDeleteHi Julia!!! Great into, I liked how you tied in some other countries. I think that maybe you could include another event that impacted the whole world. Other than that This looks great!
DeleteThanks MaryAnn! Yeah I agree with that. I think that could be good because I could make another body paragraph out of another event or add it to another body paragraph to create more depth to it. The Berlin Conference was just the event that I believed had the greatest affect and that I could write the most about. I'm a little worried that if I added another event I would maybe not have enough time to explain both events properly (in the time we are given to write) but I still think it's a great idea. Thanks again!
DeleteLate nineteenth century Europe underwent a period of significant expansion around the world. Pre-existing European nation-states had become very powerful as a result of industrialization and the strategic and powerful nature of the nation-state. Imperialism was largely important to nineteenth century Europe as new influences and experiences had a large sociocultural affect, the economy shifted as there was easier access to raw materials and investment opportunities and politically combined democracy with local traditions.
ReplyDeleteDammmnn Sanjali nice start, you have a ton of information and good structure! In your intro should you include how Imperialism rose to power by a specific example? Also, in your body paragraphs are you going to explain how this imperialism in Europe was affecting other countries around the globe? Other than that looks good!
DeleteHey Sanjali! This is a very strong intro to a potentially great essay. I like how you focused on nation states specifically and how they were the main force behind change in this time period. I think your last sentence is a run-on (#salty) but I like what you were trying to say. Don't forget to use PIES to help you cover all the effects of imperialism. Also you mainly focues on the effects of imperialism but I also think you should incorporate the CAUSES of imperialism. Overall, good intro paragraph!
DeleteHi Sanjali!I think that you did a great job with including a chain of events. I think that maybe to make your paragraph a little bit stronger you could add a specific event that impacted the growth of Europe in some way. Other than that your paragraph looks great:)
DeleteHi Maddie and MaryAnn! Thank you for the feedback!
DeleteYou both brought up using a specific example of an event that led to Imperialism so I think that would be a good idea. I was thinking about using the Congress of Vienna as my specific example to set the stage, talking about how it led to a separation and more equal balance of powers.
To answer your second question Maddie, I don't necessarily think I will talk about how imperialism in Europe was affecting other countries around the globe unless it is relevant to Europe. Just because the prompt doesn't ask globally, it asks about Europe I fear my essay would lose focus.
Thank you for the feedback!
During the 19th century emigration become increasingly important in Europe. The beginning of the 19th century marked a transition from the old European mercantile colonialism to the new land-based colonialism, which was enabled by Europe's advancing technological capabilities. In the mid 19th century, production in the European markets took off, both in India and Java. Military veterans contributed to a rapid growth of European colonial settlements decades before the migration of European civilians to Asia became substantial. Therefore, this expansion movement gives significance to that intellectual, moral, and political development of the European peoples opening the gates for a new culture. The bearers of this new culture carried it to all lands and communicated it to all peoples, thereby opening up a new era in the history of Europe.
ReplyDeleteI like how you connected emigration to a cultural influence, I think it is a very clear connection that answers the prompt well and is easy to understand and pursue. The only thing I can think of to improve it is maybe broaden your statements so you could use examples like military veterans in your main paragraphs.
DeleteAlso in the first sentence, it should be emigration "became" increasingly important.
Thanks, that is very helpful. That is a great point about making the sentences broad, so then I can use more specific details to justify that I am arguing in the intro.
DeleteAs a result of the congress of Vienna, which was created to create a balance of power in Europe and prevent attempts of imperialism within Europe, the emerging nation states of Europe were forced to focus imperialism to other parts of the globe. Imperialism is an important aspect of 19th century Europe because of the factors that lead to imperialism including the formation of nation states across Europe and the impact of industrialization on the transportation, economy, and urbanization of Europe.
ReplyDeleteHi Dianna,
DeleteNice job on your intro paragraph! I like how you touch on how imperialism came about during this time period, as an introduction to what the prompt is asking. I also think that you have some really great ideas about what imperialism's importance was. One question that I do have for you is if you were going to go further into the effects of the formation of nation states, industrialization and so on. I think that explaining the future importance of these matter would strengthen your paper. Overall I think you have done a very nice job in setting up your paper. :)
(In case the name doesn't work again but after a while of trying, I think I got it; this is Maddie Perun)
DeleteI like the way that you started off with a specific example! The congress of Vienna is a very important topic when talking about imperialism. I think that you did a really good job with this reply! The vocabulary you used really helped to make the reply sound even stronger. I think a couple more examples would make the reply even stronger, but overall you did a great job.
19th century Europe experienced a large increase in imperialism that had far reaching effects on society. The new imperialism had roots lying in defense of economic interests and expansions of those interests overseas and locally, as well as roots in decreasing isolation for countries through expansion. This new found imperialism led to varying economic benefits, however most significantly changed the culture of Europe by bringing new goods, arts and languages to Europe from exotic new areas.
ReplyDeleteThe 19th century was very much a period in which imperialism began to rise in importance and prevalence due to a desire for expansion and trade growth, ideas of superiority, and national rivalry. Essentially, a great migration throughout the world and standardization of European ways of lives throughout the world ensued due to the combination of these factors. The leaders of this influx of imperialistic ideas were England and France mainly. A desire for expansion and trade growth was fueled by the promise of economic growth, which countries were hungry for. They believed that by bolstering trade markets and thus increasing the range of their influence throughout the world, money would be acquired in greater amounts and with greater success. Ideas of superiority were forming along with the prevalence of the White Man’s Burden, Social Darwinism, anti-semitism, and racism. By extending European power across the world. Europeans believed that not only would this allow for indirect ruling, but would also allow them to civilize and enlighten those who they believed possessed a much lower intellectual capacity than themselves. National rivalry between neighboring European countries as well as with the rest of the world was present in the explanation of such an increase in imperialism. Upon realizing these two previous reasons promoting imperialism, countries not only wanted to employ imperialism, but also desired to beat out rivaling countries and essentially gain the most from their endeavors. Imperialism in Europe in the 19th Century presented a new motive for European countries to be successful and ultimately resulted in migration and a spreading of European ideals throughout the world.
ReplyDeleteAmanda,
DeleteThis is a really great start to an essay! Your beginning thoughts are very well said, and this intro sets your ideas up very well. The background information is extremely helpful as an establishment of the causes of imperialism in Europe. My only question is what exactly the essay itself will focus on? In your last sentence you state that imperialism "ultimately resulted in migration and a spreading of European ideals throughout the world" so will you be exploring that topic? Overall though this is a really well written and great intro paragraph! Good job!
During the nineteenth century, imperialism was important in Europe because it caused changes in the European economy system and European culture. European imperialism was brought about in the nineteenth century due to the White Man’s Burden and Nationalism. There were both positive and negative effects of imperialism on Europe. A positive effect was it lowered the cost of raw materials and markets. Due to the nature of imperialism, taxation was increased in order to pay for defense, causing a negative effect to most people living in Europe. Along with economic changes, the European culture had also changed significantly. The art movement of impressionism - which sprouted from the changes in culture - broke the rules of academic painting. Imperialism also caused people to questions their religion. New theorists such as Darwin and Freud threatened traditional values, also causing changes in culture. Overall, imperialism had a big impact on European economy and culture.
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Madi! I like how you mentioned specific historical elements, such as the "White Man's Burden" and "Nationalism". I would suggest trying to combine some of your sentences so that the paragraph flows better (try to make this "there were both positive and negative effects of imperialism on Europe. A positive effect was it lowered the cost of raw materials and markets" less choppy). I feel like you may be summarizing what you would write in the essay (seems like a concluding paragraph). I would try to make the mention of the positive and negative impacts a little broader - you don't need to explain why there were changes in culture here (that is for your body paragraph) you merely need to say that there were changes in culture. The reader understands that the details will come later in the essay. Overall, this is an awesome start!
Delete-Lauren Weiss
Thanks for the comment Lolo. I totally understand what you are saying about sentence structure. Usually when I am writing these intro paragraphs I end up adding way more detail than I normally would because we are not writing the rest of the essay.
DeleteNineteenth century Europe was characterized by industrialization and world expansion. Imperialism was tremendously important for nineteenth century Europe. Imperialism improved the European economy, increased competition between European countries, and caused racism. Imperialism improved the European economy because there was increased trade and colonies were providing raw materials. Competition between European countries was shown in the Berlin Conference and the "Great Game". Increased racism caused by imperialism was shown with The White Man's Burden. Overall, imperialism had a great impact on Europe in the nineteenth century.
ReplyDeleteThe occurrence of imperialism during the nineteenth century was important in the cultural and economic developments in Europe. Imperialism allowed for both internal and external cultural changes; internally, as the European powers involved in imperialism often had a growing tension between each other as power struggles arose, and externally, as many of the colonized people outside of Europe lived in a culture influenced highly by European ideals. Imperialism affected Europe economically as many of the countries involved in imperialism were able to get exported goods easier and more frequently. Imperialism also created economic issues in Europe, as many wars would break out in Europe and have similar struggles in colonies, allowing much more money to be spent on wars allowing increased amounts of debt in some European nations.
ReplyDeleteFantastic start Brynn! To further enhance your introduction I advise you to maybe mention what lead to imperialism to begin with and how the ideas spread throughout Europe.Also in your first sentence you mention culture developments make sure that it is clearly incorporated in your intro.
DeleteThanks Brisa! I totally get what you are saying about incorporating what led to imperialism into my paragraph more.
DeleteImperialism occurs when a country expands its power and influence through the colonization of new lands or other nations. The idea of New Imperialism influenced many European nations of the 19th century, as they began to seek formal political control over other nations. Imperialism was extremely important to Europe in the 19th century as it helped globalization spread to isolated areas, while also sparking violence and wars in the fight to gain new territories.
ReplyDeleteHello Lauren! I think your introduction looks great. The only thing I think you could work on is: what effects did imperialism affect Europe? I think you explained when Imperialism occurs and what it caused around the world, but you need to be more specific about what it does within Europe. Does imperialism create a stronger connection between economies and markets? Or did it cause a change in the focus of the European economy?
DeleteThanks, Emily! Here is what my new introduction would look like to further address the "effects" aspect of the question:
DeleteImperialism occurs when a country expands its power and influence through the colonization of new lands or other nations. The idea of New Imperialism influenced many European nations of the 19th century, as they began to seek formal political control over other nations. Imperialism was extremely important to Europe in the 19th century as it helped globalization spread to isolated areas, while also sparking violence and wars in the fight to gain new territories. Imperialism had a significant impact on Europe, as it caused a shift in the economy (caused by the response of European markets) and it caused competition in the economy between European nations.
Imperialism was incredibly important for nineteenth century Europe because it increased the economic, social, and militaristic power of European nations. Where there had once been regional power, there was now the ability to compete with other European nations economically in a race to conquer new lands and utilize their resources. The resources were needed to keep up with the Industrial Revolution in Europe. Shown through the examples of England, France, and Spain, power increased greatly when more overseas land was controlled by the European countries. Socially, Europe was affected by imperialism by becoming more competitive with other nations and peoples. Military power increased extensively because, during imperialism, more groups were overtaken by the Europeans. Because of economic, social, and military reasons, European imperialism greatly influenced the 1800s.
ReplyDeleteIf you put an example for your first topic about power why not include examples for other topics? Do you think if you took away the sentence, "The resources were needed to keep up with the Industrial Revolution in Europe" you could focus on the topic of power more? Good structure and starting point!
DeleteThanks Marylou! I can't decide whether I should add examples for the other topics or just take it away from the first. I think its a great idea to take out that sentence because power in my paragraph is definitely a kind of confusing section because it isn't straightforward. Thanks so much!!
DeleteDuring the nineteenth century in Europe, Imperialism played a significant role in Western and Northern Europe during the time period of 1848-1914. Nineteenth century Europe plagued the world with a scramble of colonial exploitations, catalyzed by the Berlin Conference, and merciless economic conquests which prioritized profit over the well being of the natives being conquered. Although Imperialism provided an alternate method for national competition other than international warfare decreased and despite creating a rise in nationalism and profit motivated mentalities, negativity towards Capitalism was not avoided, producing a slew of counter movements for progression of rights, such as the Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad and the Black Man’s Burden by Edward Morel which were inspired by unjust treatment of colonial natives, as well as the manifestation of socialist and communist ideals by figures such as Fourier and Marx opposing bourgeoisie profiteers.
ReplyDeleteHi Bruce, I think this is a really great intro paragraph. You explained your points really well. I would suggest making a clearer link between capitalism and imperialism, but I think that could be something you would discuss in a body paragraph. The only part that didn't make sense was the line "Although Imperialism provided an alternate method for national competition other than international warfare decreased and despite creating a rise in nationalism...etc." What did you mean to say here? Other than that it is a really great paragraph.
DeleteBruce,
DeleteThis seems to have some good points, but the structure is a but confusing. Based on some grammar and sentence construction alone, it's somewhat difficult to see where you're trying to take this paper. Second, you outline quite a few immediate effects, but your point would likely be stronger if you specifically identified important political, economic, and social effects.
Questions!
What was the effect of imperialism upon European society during the noted time period?
What point are you trying to make? Identify one clear point to stand behind, and set that up for your thesis. That'll make your essay easier to write.
Hey Josie, thanks for the critique! I think by showing how capitalism was the main drive behind a major imperialism catalyst and is itself a component of imperialism, I can more clearly link capitalism and imperialism. I definitely intend on expanding on this main idea in the body paragraphs. The second part was pretty unorganized but basically I meant to address the negative, anti capitalist movements that also came out of Imperialism.
Delete-Bruce Barnz
Revised...
During the nineteenth century in Europe, Imperialism played a significant role in Western and Northern Europe during the time period of 1848-1914. Nineteenth century Europe plagued the world with a scramble for colonial gains, justified by the Berlin Conference while disguising an ulterior motive to make national profit, which ultimately invited merciless economic conquests which overlooked the rights and treatment of the natives being conquered. Although Imperialism provided an alternate method for competition, based upon the status of national profit, and created a rise in nationalism, Imperialism resulted in a slew of counter movements for the progression of rights of colonial natives reflected domestic progressive movements and were extrapolated within literature such as the Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad and the Black Man’s Burden by Edward Morel. Counter movements against bourgeoisie profiteers were also developed, by figures such as Fourier and Marx, that supported the socioeconomic ideals of Communism and Socialism as replacements of Capitalism.
The nineteenth century was a period of great change. In Europe, the first half of this era was filled with divers revolutions caused by the struggle with power and harsh life conditions during the Industrial Revolution. Many Europeans were facing religious and political prosecution. The perspective of a newly discovered land represented a wonderful opportunity to start over, to purchase new land and to create a new peaceful colony: the American dream. This emigration led to a great possibility of development for America, creating more working hand. This essay will analyze the consequence and importance of the Mass european emigration.
ReplyDeleteHey, pal. I love your wording, it's very inspirational. But maybe use some more specific examples, such as the Berlin Conference. Your ideas are extremely vague, but they have the means for a very good essay. Keep up the good work! :)
DeleteImperialism played a large role in Europe during the 19th century, as many European countries began to expand their power by taking over land and colonizing other places in the world. The positive and negative effects of imperialism caused imperialism to be extremely important to. Some positive effects of imperialism are the lower cost of raw materials, which led to a more efficient use of factories in large cities, larger access to trading routes, as well as the new culture that was brought to Europe. Despite these benefits Imperialism also brought some negative affects to Europe such as the high costs of defending their there land which lead to higher taxation not only for their colonies but also on there home land, as well as the problems of keeping the colonies and other new land under control.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie! First of all, I’m going to ignore all but one of the several grammar errors / typos, since I’m sure that just comes from typing this onto the blog and not a word-processing program. The one that I will point out is “The positive and negative effects of imperialism caused imperialism to be extremely important to.”...? It looks like you either mistakenly deleted the last part of the sentence, or forgot to finish your thought. More importantly, I decided to point this out, because it sounds like the beginning of what could be your thesis statement; so if it is, I would probably move it to the end of your paragraph. Along that same note, QUESTION 1: what is your thesis? I’m a tad confused about what your essay will actually be arguing. I really like that you talked about both positive and negative effects, but I think for this prompt it would be necessary to go one step farther in analyzing what happened to draw a conclusion about the importance of imperialism on 19th century Europe in looking at the effects, which leads me to QUESTION 2: what is your conclusion? (How important was imperialism? Is it more positive than negative, or vice versa? What were the implications of the effects of Imperialism on Europe?) I know you wouldn’t have to have a conclusion in your intro paragraph, but I think that if your thesis contained hints of your conclusion, then it will be easier for the reader(s) of your essay to follow along and understand why you are saying what you are saying. Overall, I think that this intro paragraph is a great start with good supporting ideas, but if it was a little clearer and more direct, it would help the essay be even stronger! Hope this helps!
DeleteHey Liz,
DeleteThank you for the comment. Looking back at it I probably should have typed it onto a Google doc first. So what I was saying for my thesis was that imperialism had a huge effect on Europe in the 19th century, and that these impacts were both positive and negative. Then despite the negativity that imperialism brought Europe would not have been the same without it. I would then go into explaining the my specific examples that I had mentioned in my intro paragraph and how they more specifically impacted Europe. This then leads into your second question. I was going to end my paper by saying how imperialism brought many new things to Europe that were significant to the development of Europe and despite the negative effects, Europe would not have been the same without it.
Within the 19th century the strongest factor in the development of Europe was the acquisition of territory in the African and Asian nations. Its forces would help catalyze eras of discovery thanks to the resources in the form of slave labor and rare mineral. Imperialism led to a heavy effort from the European empires to spread their territories to further horizons and secure economic and material lead above the developing world. The periods of the scramble to Africa and the Opium Wars led to the economic and territorial spread for England and the Germanic states and allowed for the acquirement of rare resources and slave labor which launched the countries into a new era of advancement.
ReplyDeleteAhoy Charles! This is a really great start. I think think you could more clearly connect the idea as a whole of land acquisition to imperialism as right now it seems a little disjointed, but it is very well structured. I have a couple questions regarding the thesis: how did imperialism lead to a heavy effort from European empires? (This is the most important one of these). What are you considering to be European empires? What is meant by the period of "scramble to Africa"? (This seems a little unclear in terms of how it is causing expansion). Is it just England and Germanic states that are expanding during this time period? How did the resources and slave labor launch the countries into a new era and advancement?
DeleteImperialism was the driving force that was prominent during the periods of 1848-1914 in Western and Northern Europe due to the spread of nationalistic efforts, to show that a specific nation was the supreme power. Imperialism contained a scramble for Africa, and the Great Game through East Asia and the Middle East. These efforts to conquer in the name of nationalism showed the economic growth of European Nations from the North and East, and this helped these nations continue nation-building to show how civilized they were and to civilize sullen peoples. Imperialism also showed the quest for Identity as it forces these European nations to know what it means to be a nation, and to prove that means by spreading and conquering, to show national strength and consciousness.
ReplyDeleteGreat start, the ideas are there, but they can be more clear and concise.
DeleteBased off of what you have, I believe that you intend to focus on how nationalism was driven by imperialism and how they fed off of each other. You touch on showing power, spreading, conquering, and having a national identity/consciousness. I would suggest that your thesis directly addresses these topics and their relation to question. If you do this at the beginning as a thesis, it will be very clear to the reader what the essay is about and then the rest of the your paragraph already covers that thesis. That way it's also easier for you to keep track of what your intro covers. The main ideas are pretty good and they have lots of support to bring in. Overall, you did awesome! Let me know if you have any questions.
-Bruce
Very nice introduction, all the details are listed in a good strong paragraph. You could use some work in listing events in chronological order though but that's just my opinion, great job.
DeleteBased on the information I have provided within my thesis, I think that I can sort of categorize my key points and then summarize all these points within my concluding paragraph. Thanks for the comments! It helped me restructure my thesis to further prepare myself.
DeleteMass emigration in nineteenth century Europe was one of the most important features of the evolving global economy at the time. The distribution of global population, wealth, and income was gravely affected as more than 60 million European emigrants left to other countries. This size of emigration was due to industrialization affecting Europe more negatively than positively. All over Europe, specifically countries like Great Britain, citizens were feeling the effect of overcrowded, unsanitary conditions that eventually forced them to leave.
ReplyDeleteMaddie-
DeleteYour introduction looks really good so far. I think your writing and structure are great! I would make sure that the connections between emigration and global economy/ distribution of population, wealth, and income are more clear. Also explain how size of emigration was due to industrialization (maybe with numbers or something that makes your point more evident). Overall, really great!
Thanks Ellie! I was planning to go more in depth with the connections between emigration and global economy in my body paragraphs. I am also planning on siting sources with specific numbers in my body paragraphs. Thanks!
DeleteEllie Monblatt
ReplyDeleteDiscuss the importance of either imperialism or emigration for nineteenth century Europe.
Imperialism played a huge role in the transformation of the European economy, political system, and culture of the nineteenth century in general. As countries expanded their global borders by improving their military strength, communication, and negotiation, they began to develop further. Potential colonies were used to build a steady source of natural resources and as a result, many countries were able to expand upon their transportation, global communication/ engagement, and market (whether agriculturally or industrially). This left a very large impact on Europe because imperialism began to tie many different countries and regions together. Therefore, there were many positive effects which were brought about by imperialism such as world engagement, improvement in existing economic systems, emerging employment opportunities for colonial peoples, and the creation of constructed social systems for the welfare of the population. With this comes some detrimental effects which were of great importance during the nineteenth century as well; it created larger divides in wealth among colonies and the imperialist nations, economies (while growing) ended up being rather unbalanced as they emphasized mineral and agricultural production which discouraged colonial manufacturing (development), and introduced more discrimination and unfair treatment of colonial workers. Overall, imperialism left large impacts, some negative and others positive, on nineteenth century Europe and the overall outcome of both sides interacting is what creates the largest effect on political, economic, and cultural systems.
Hey Ellie this sounds awesome!! You can possibly make it more concise by talking a little bit less on the effects on the colonies, even though that was super important, since the question asked about the impacts on Europe. I really liked how you talked about agriculture vs. industrialization- maybe expand on that a little bit in the context of Europe's economy? Overall though that was really thorough and well-thought-out- great job!!
DeleteThank you! That feedback really helps- I like your point about focusing more on the impacts on Europe instead of the colonies. Should I talk about the growth that Europe as a whole experienced through imperialism during this time or how individual roles in the economy/ society in Europe began to change? And I will definitely expand on the changing economy more, I could add details about that in the body paragraphs too! Thanks so much for the feedback, it was really helpful!
DeleteEuropean Colonialism and imperialism have spread all across the world except for small parts of asia, the effects from european colonialism resulted in cultural exchange or takeover. The Euro culture brought in by colonists was usually invasive, especially in the Americas with the arrival of pilgrims, colonists, and spanish conquistadors who enforced their culture on native populations by force. Today many traditions and cultures have european influences, even countries that have been untouched by european control have been influenced by culture, an example would be the modern Japanese society. Japan remained uncontrolled by european powers until the industrial revolution, in which many industrial techniques were adopted by the Japanese people to progress, as well as adopting many lifestyles of Europe. According to Matador Network, “The colour codes may seem confusing, but it only is a matter of terminology. Some countries are labeled as only “influenced”, but the truth of the matter is that all, or part of all, the blue and yellow countries, have been under the heel of Europe. Only the countries coloured in orange are the ones who espaced European colonialism. Japan, Korea, and Thailand were never dominated by Europe, but both Korea and Thailand were colonized by Japan during at the start of the 20th century.
ReplyDeleteLiberia is the fourth nation that espaced European domination, but only because the United States of America supported the Republic of Liberia founded by African American freed slaves. It is also important to note that, despite French Guyana appearing on this map as part of Europe, the country was colonized and remains an “overseas region of France”.” This evidence goes to show that Europe’s colonialism is widespread throughout the world and has had strong cultural influences that have shaped the society of the modern world.
Imperialism was a huge driving factor in 19th century Europe. During this time, many countries from Europe expanded outward to increase the amount of land they owned and the amount of trade the could do with other nations. This acquisition of land led to a greater number of resources that the nations had, which was then able to fuel their own economy and the growing industrial revolution. Another consequence of Imperialism was the supremacist thought that many Europeans had toward the conquered areas due to their uncivilized way of life. This brought about the White Man's Burden which was a warning to the imperialist powers that the conquered countries were not always accepting of a European point of view which could lead to revolutions later on. The time of Imperialism was a great improvement for European countries, but many other non-European countries lacked the power to advance as far as Europe did.
ReplyDeleteHi Lex, im sorry that my response to your post took so long. I think this is a very good start to the essay, however i dont think that the concepts you introduce (the white man's burden, etc)are exactly appropriate for the introductory paragraph. I would instead introduce the locations of interest rather than writings. Overall i think that your explanation of imperialism is great but i would strongly advise once again not demonstrating thought within the introduction.
DeleteHey Charles, thanks for the response. I understand how I can improve my paragraph. I would change it so that I would focus on the countries that are some driving forces of European imperialism, instead of the thoughts that came about from that imperialism like you said. I would mention how countries like Britain had expanded during imperialism and shared their experience with the White Man's Burden in the body paragraphs of the essay. Thanks again.
DeleteImperialism during 19th Century Russia seemed to have monumental impacts. The idea of gaining more land seemed to be one of Russia's main goal during this time. The expansion of Russia into Japan led to secret and public treaties being made between countries which influenced the amount of force that other countries used to extend their boarders.
ReplyDeleteHey Tats! I really like where you are going with this!
DeleteI like how it is specific to Russia and not as broad, I think that will help you going into your essay to stay focused. However, do you think talking about their expansion into Japan in your intro will limit you later on?
I like what you are saying about the force that countries began to feel the need to use but can you elaborate on that? For example why they felt the need or what social, political, intellectual forces arose?
Also, this is tedious, but when you say the idea of gain more land "seemed" to be one of Russia's main goals, that makes you seem unsure of yourself so I would eliminated "seemed to be" and just say "was".
Great job!
Hey Sanj! Thanks so much for the feedback! I think that talking about Japan would allow for me to talk about the specific deals that were being made between countries. It would allow for the paper to take a couple turns in various directions.
DeleteTalking about social, political, and intellectual forces that arose would be a great idea and I would totally factor that into my essay.
Thanks so much!
Emigration played a large role in the changes within 19th century Europe. Emigration was caused by the rapid influx of unskilled workers within the factories that replaced the specialized workers, leading to less jobs opportunities, and less profit for citizens. In addition, the large decline in agriculture caused an emphasis on emigration as people were moving away from the food shortages, and the problems with potatoes and other crops. When the citizens emigrated from Europe, they took with them their specialties, government ideals, and ideas of the "homeland." Overall, emigration, which was caused by the industrial revolution and the drop in agricultural production, created a large margin for imperialism and global development around the world.
ReplyDeleteexpansion of power, new markets, and t
Hey Emily, this is a very well structured paragraph. I like how you talked about the large decline in agriculture. Maybe you could go more on depth on the specialties, government ideals, and the ideas they brought. Other than that I feel as though you have a well written intro!
DeleteHi Juana! Thank you! I think your suggestion could work! I may not add too much more detail though because it is only my thesis and then I would go more in depth later. :)
DeleteEuropean imperialism had been in effect since the fifteenth century, only to be greatly accelerated by industrialization in the nineteenth century. Many nations, with their new found efficiency, raced for the easily occupied lands of Africa and Latin America. With the continuing dominance of the white Europeans over minorities, imperialism generated a lasting spike of racism. Also, with increasing trade agreements as business opportunities arose, countries developed complex relationships that bred political revolutions.
ReplyDeleteHey Max
DeleteI like this start to your essay but I think you should be more specific in the countries you mean when mentioning the relationships they develop at this time. You could also mention how they were affected by and used imperiallism to industrialize.
During the mid-late nineteenth century in Europe, advancements in society and internal crises in other countries led to the age of high imperialism. As European nations were becoming more advanced politically, economically and socially, they were able to extend their influence through diplomacy or by force. This moved many European countries outside of their borders in events like the “Scramble for Africa”. Although European countries had previously looked to acquire land outside of Europe, the age of Imperialism was unique as for the first time a vast majority of the public started to participate politically, economically and culturally - leading to long lasting effects on not only European, but African societies as well. Thus, imperialism was greatly important as it shaped conflicts in Africa and Europe for the next century.
ReplyDeleteIn the nineteenth century with the economic growth brought on by growing industry and production of goods, imperialistic ideals held great importance. Imperialism was important in the nineteenth century because it created more economic activity due to new trade brought in from the newly established colonies, it also gave the Europeans a sense of superiority to the new colonies which many referd to as the white man's burden.
ReplyDeleteThen for the conclusion I would discuss how ultimately it was European imperialism that shaped the world how it is in modern times, with trade agreements etc.
Hi Brisa! You have a great intro so far! I would suggest adding a little more background as to just what imperialism to make the rest of your arguments a little clearer and stronger. I would make your thesis a little clearer and more direct so the reader knows exactly which two points you are trying to make, then further explain it in sentences to come. Use examples to reinforce the economic activity and sense of superiority you talk about. As far as you conclusion, is there any way you could include that idea in your intro without explicitly saying, "Then for the conclusion"? This way, your writing would flow better and the reader would have an idea of the entirety of your essay.
DeleteHey Amanda! Thank you for your notes. I do agree with that I should incorporate more background information and more detail regarding my two main ideas (buckets). Also my apologies for the "Then for the conclusion"it was a thoughtless typo. But overall thank you for your critique I really appreciate it and hope to further improve/ expand my ideas mentioned in my passage.
DeleteDuring the 19th century, various economic structures came into prominence, including socialism, communism, mercantilism, and capitalism. These allowed various nations, many of which were just emerging from revolutions and unification, to participate in the global market. These factors, along with social ideas such as the "white man's burden", led to the rise of imperialism. Imperialism helped establish certain nations (such as England, France, and Germany) as world powers who were able to secure resources, labor, and military positions in order to participate in and control the global economy. Thus, its prominence increased competition within Europe, while simultaneously, if immorally, building empires that included the rest of the world.
ReplyDeleteThe importance of imperialism, the expansion of a nation to increase its power and resources, through industrialization and colonial movement in, influenced the culture, wealth and health of the people of Europe in the nineteenth century
ReplyDeleteI think you have a good basic idea of what you want to talk about here, but it could use a little more refining. What exactly are you trying to say> I would suggest splitting up your intro sentence into a few sentences, and adding some specific details, like how does imperialism connect to industrialization and colonial movement? Overall think you have a great idea though. :)
DeleteShort and sweet, and straight to the point. Make sure though in your final introduction paragraph you have a basic map of how the rest of the paper will flow (mention key details). Besides that it seems you know what you're doing fam.
Deletelol i literally just realized this is not the intro that I wanted to publish... but I definitely agree rose... looking at all of the other intros I could definitely add more detail and thought into this. I think I would say something along the lines of colonial movement allowed for the accumulation of resources which aided industrialization. And also sorry for the confusion of the end of that intro. And to answer your last question imperialism was the overall force for colonial movement and then add how the accumulation of resources contributed to industrialization. Thanks for your help!
DeleteIn the nineteenth century, the European nations became very powerful and wanted to expand their powers into other empires. Known as Imperialism, this type of policy greatly shaped nineteenth century Europe and many important things were introduced. European Imperialism allowed for the spread of technologies, such as railroads and steam power, ideas, like new medicines and educational opportunities, and their form of government, such as laws to protect the weak, to reach different nations around the world which strengthened the feeling of moral superiority in Europe. The importance of Imperialism for nineteenth century Europe is undeniable, it gave Europe the opportunity to expand their nation and spread technologies, ideas and their form of government that might have not been known before to new colonies, and by being able to become even more powerful, the feeling of moral superiority increased as well.
ReplyDeleteGreat job Candace! I think that over you did a great job, but you could improve the flow of your sentences. You could also talk more about how imperialism help Europe specifically, because in your paragraph you also talk about other countries. From the thesis how would you structure your essay? Why didnt you focus as much on Europe as much as other countries?
DeleteThanks for the constructive criticism, Madi! I definitely understand what you're saying about talking more about how imperialism helped Europe specifically because I felt like I misinterpreted the question and didn't fully answered the question, but thanks for your nice words anyways. :) If I had to go off of my original thesis, I would structure it as followed: P1: Introduction, P2: spread of new technology and ideas increased the feeling of nationalism and more unity ,P3: the expansion led to better economy, P4: a better government because more people are open to it and can be changed when necessary ,P5: Conclusion
DeleteThe nineteenth century was a period of great social and economic change and development in Europe. This was at least in part due to western imperialism. King Leopold and his empire in the Congo brought great material wealth to his nation, in the form of slaves and minerals. French holdings on the Ivory Coast brought diamonds into modern trade. The British Empire settled regions all over the world, for the first time uniting the world under a single major trade route controlled by a single nation. These developments allowed for the influx of great wealth to European imperial powers. Additionally, culture clash changed the way the world understood itself. These cultural interactions were dictated through writings like Kipling’s White Man’s Burden and Conrad’s Heart of Darkness. Imperialism was arguably the most important factor in shaping the social and economic development of nineteenth century Europe.
ReplyDeleteYo Eli, Perty good. Good job analyzing and attacking this intro paragraph. I would change a couple of things that you said and focused on to make it more comprehensive and thorough. Instead of minerals, use the term raw materials "for industrial purposes. Instead of giving a bunch of specifics under the same catagory (The berlin conference and the scramble for africa), try to generalize it because as you know these are just a few examples out of many. For the culture piece, you could also look at the black man's burden as it challenges the white's man's burden and clashes black culture with white culture, which then evolved the world into imperialism and the economic increase .
DeleteOther than that, you did great bud.
-Manny man
Imperialism had a profound effect on 19th century Europe and the countries within it. It changed the political, social, economic, and intellectual landscapes by eliminating old boundaries and creating new ones, and by establishing new leaders in power in place of old ones. Imperialism was the driving force behind many of the conflicts of Europe at the time and set the stage for the 20th century.
ReplyDeleteThis starts out with good structure but you should be more specific with the "many of the conflicts of Europe at the time". Also state some examples of the political social economic and intellectual landscapes besides that they eliminate old boundaries and create new. What was eliminated and what was created?
DeleteThanks for the constructive criticism Ashby! I think I need to be more explicit on the causes and effects of imperialism and specifically what was affected. Also I would change it to cover in more depth the on what I meant by boundaries! Thanks for the advice!
DeleteImperialism was a strong, influencing factor of the nineteenth century in Europe. A sense of competition spread across the continent as countries attempted to gain as much land as they could in an effort to capitalize upon the new territories resources. These resources included human labor, foods and spices, precious metals and jewels, narcotics, and others. The scramble for Africa began with the Berlin Conference, where territories of Africa were divided among various European countries. Imperialism could also be extremely economically beneficial as England colonized India in order to sell opium to China. Although, this did result in the Opium Wars. Either way, imperialism would change the way Europe, and many other places, functioned.
ReplyDeleteHey Cate! Wonderful start, right off the bat, you mention imperialism, which is great, one thing is that your wording gets sorta clumsy when you mention all of the resources, it may help to refine these and then later go in depth on each of these! The rest is great. One small thing, "either way" could be taken out and the sentence would gain a stronger meaning.
DeleteHey Cate! First of all, great job! Your introduction really opens well your essay. However, I am wondering what arguments (or developments-ish) are you going to use? Perhaps you could introduce them more clearly and briefly. And good job on demonstrating your knowledge through the several examples you used. Maybe you could also develop a bit more your explanation on how you are going to present imperialism.
DeleteThanks guys! If I were to redo this, I would definitely try to make the wording flow better. Also, I would be arguing that imperialism was extremely important and beneficial to Europe at that time, even though it resulted in some consequences.
DeleteImperialism was important in shaping nineteenth century Europe because European expansion had begun to accelerate greatly during this time period. The global expansion that was occurring lead to a necessity for modernization and conformity to European norms, as Europe grew to become the dominating nation of the world. As such, imperialism would be the only option for Europe as a developing nation in order to both expand to greater heights, as well as take control of as many other nations as possible in order to help them develop to significant power as quickly as possible. However, European imperialism had also created a negative stigma towards Europe due to their highly demanding nature for change. European imperialism caused many changes to the world as it was known, yet their policies for change were often negatively received.
ReplyDeleteThe conclusion will cover how modernization took form due to imperialism, as well as how countries were changed to conform to European norms. How countries were negatively affected will also be covered.
Great paragraph Hugo. I can see where you would go from here. But if possible, you may want to include some specific events that happened during imperialism that you can expand on later in the essay. When you mention the growth of Europe later in your essay, will you just focus on the the acquisition of land and power, or will you also mention how the resources from the conquered areas helped Europe as well? Also, when you say how countries were negatively affected, are you referring to the conquered countries or European countries or both?
DeleteThanks for the feedback, if I were to write another thesis like this, I would be sure to use specific examples of events. As for the rest of the thesis, when I was originally writing this thesis, the way I imagined the structure of the body paragraphs to be was the first covering how Europe grew to power, which would include how they conquered other countries and the resources received from said countries. Another paragraph would be about how European imperialism generally(positively and negatively) affected Europe itself. When I mention countries being negatively affected, I was thinking that I would write the third paragraph about how other non-European countries were affected.
DeleteChristopher Columbus' discovery of the "New World" backed by the wealth and support of Spain in 1492 opened a gateway for European immigration that would still be prominent in nineteenth century Europe. The rapid increase of immigration to America from European nations is seen throughout the nineteenth century as turmoil within Europe led to near-constant violence and other economic and political factors shaped Europe as boundaries changed and people left. The desire to escape the social oppression and violence, such as Hungarians who had lost a rebellion in Austria, and economic pressures of seeking out a better life because of famines spread throughout nations that relied heavily on farming such as Sweden, Germany, and Ireland, led to a mass movement of millions of Europeans immigrating, leaving the country which further spread the importance of European’s upcoming ideals of Capitalism, in which the individual could further themselves and break away from previous methods of living for the village in which the European resided.
ReplyDeleteGood structure on your introduction paragraph! Really lulls in the reader with some good historical facts, I also like how it is in chronological order mostly which doesn't bore. On the other hand some pointers I could give out are one, don't jump from detail to detail too quickly, and also for the final product it'd be best to stick to one to two examples for the immigration. Very well done & awesome work.
DeleteEuropean civilization experienced a period of unprecedented rapid expansion around the globe during the nineteenth century. European nation states had become very powerful because of industrialization and their organizational efficiency. The idea of imperialism drove these nation states to expand their reach across lands overseas. The first areas of European colonization were areas with great ports, such as the Latin Americas, to aid in productivity and encourage trading from the areas they inhibited. An increase in land not only led to a geographically larger empire, but also caused people to migrate, expanding the population as well. Along with them, the settling community brought traditions and culture from their homeland, thus spreading their customs in addition to their goods. Imperialism shaped the growth of Europe in the nineteenth century both by land and by peopling.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really good start Mae! The only thing I think could be improved is some wording and possibly condensing your ideas so it is easier to follow. In the fourth sentence it seems like there may be an error in the wording. You also mention a lot of topics, which gives a lot of info but can also be a hard to follow at the end of the paragraph. Overall this was such a good intro Mae! Good Job!
DeleteIn the nineteenth century, imperialism had a political, economic, and social impact on the world as major European powers prompted their own interests abroad, particularly in the "Scramble for Africa" and the defense of trade interests in Asia. Throughout the nineteenth century, older powers such as Britain and France competed with newer emerging powers such as Russia and Germany to establish a firm hold on their international interests.
ReplyDeleteHey Grant, this is a great introductory paragraph and at first glance I just saw all the detailed facts you were able to fit into just a few sentence. There are only a few things to tweak but overall it would lead to a well thought out essay. The main thing is just the flow, there is quite a bit of information (which is good) but it can sort of become too much. So yes keep everything you have, just add some transition sentences. Especially between these two sentence: "...interests in Asia. Throughout the nineteenth century...". The paragraph also seems to hit a wall at the end. I feel it may be a good idea to add another "light" sentence that ends the introduction and leads into the first body paragraph. Sorry I couldn't be all that much help but that is mostly because you are on the right track and don't need all that much help. I believe in you and everything you do!
DeleteYou've got a great start here, however I'm a bit confused as to what your thesis is. Are you going to talk about the social, economic and political impacts of imperialism or the competition between old and new world powers?
DeleteHey guys, thanks so much for your feedback! That definitely makes sense, Jack, I appreciate your feedback and will definitely add in more transitional sentences so my introduction isn't a bombardment of information. Thank you so much for your kind, inspirational last sentence as part of your feedback, haha! :) And Tatianah, I'm going to talk about the political, economic, and social effects and can add in more sentences (as Jack suggested) to get rid of any confusion as to what I'm writing about. Making my introduction more concise and having it flow better will aid in getting my message across most effectively. Thanks again guys, your feedback was very helpful!
DeleteImperialism played an important role in nineteenth century Europe that was both good and bad. Imperialism caused a period of economic boom due to industrialization and centralized government. Imperialism was essential for Europe so they could gain more natural resources for industrialization. Due to the fact that they expanded and found these natural resources they needed a stable government to maintain control. On the other hand the people of the European colonies started getting more restless. So Europe was forced to spend more money to suppress them and keep their power. Imperialism was beneficial to Europe because it caused a European economic boom and it was bad because it caused the outbreak of colonial revolution.
ReplyDeleteHey Ashby! This is a great intro! However, some small improvements could make it even better. To begin, I think it would be beneficial to take the very last sentence of your paragraph: "Imperialism was beneficial to Europe because it caused a European economic boom and it was bad because it caused the outbreak of colonial revolution." and put it as the second sentence in your intro. This way, you can clearly state why imperialism was good and bad, and then expand upon those reasons. Additionally, I think it would strengthen your intro if you included specifically which European countries benefited from industrialization and a centralized government, as well as the countries that suffered from the restlessness of their citizens. Overall, I think this was a great intro, and if you took it further by restructuring it and adding a bit more detail it would be even stronger!
Delete
ReplyDeleteImperialism is the building of an empire. Expansion occurred when one state is more
powerful than are the obstacles to expansion. European civilization experienced a period of unprecedented rapid expansion around the globe during the nineteenth century. European nation-states had become very powerful because of industrialization and because of the organizational efficiency of the nation-state.
The conclusion will cover how imperialism has greatly influenced the conflicts that happened in Europe during the next century.
This is a really good start! I think you should be more specific as to what imperialism caused. Also, I think you should probably chose to either write about imperialism or expansion. In order to be more specific, I would write a focused thesis on what happened because of imperialism/expansion. Other than that, I think this has a lot of potential to be a great paper!
DeleteThis is a really good starting point Junana! Instead of defining imperialism like you did in the first sentence,instead talk about why imperialism became a thing in Europe and why/ how it made Europe more powerful further in your introduction. But overall your ideas just need a bit of expansion (like the european nations did at this time).
DeleteImperialism across nineteenth century Europe played a very important part in developing the modern world because of its long lasting effects. The spread of ideas and technology to less advanced places, such as Africa, helped to dramatically increase globalization, the acquiring of new resourceful territories increased the wealth and therefore economies of European imperialistic powers, and this trade helped to form stronger diplomatic relations between countries. Still, imperialism brought with it negative effects including racism, as demonstrated in "The White Man's Burden", and violence in the citizens of countries being overtaken. European imperialism in the nineteenth century was very significant to the shaping of the modern world because of its benefits and negative effects.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good start to the essay, but you should include some specific examples as to how these changes occurred. For example, when you mention how strong diplomatic relations were formed, could you mention how these changes happened, or what technologies spread to other countries. You also did not mention how you would make a conclusion to this essay. Overall a good start.
DeleteThe 19th century showed a prominent increase in the amount of European immigrants traveling to the United States in search of greater economic opportunity. The flood of emigrating Irish, Swedish, and Italian immigrants had a positive impact on the various countries they left behind due to the increased availability of economic opportunities for those remaining.
ReplyDeleteIzzy!! Great job on your intro! It is very succinct and precise. I am wondering why you decided to talk about immigration and not so imperialism? Maybe it would be interesting to incorporate that optic also. Again, your intro is short (maybe a bit too short?) and I propose that you add more details and really explain what you're going to discuss in this essay and what arguments are you going to build your facts on. Overall, great job.
DeleteThis is a good start for the remainder of the essay, but there should definitely be more in terms of what will be discussed in the rest of the paper. Be sure to discuss the effects of emigration on Europe, and go more in depth as to why people are emigrating. You also did not briefly mention what your conclusion would be, so be sure to think about that as well.
DeleteI agree with you Leila, I think it definitely needs more detail in order for me to build an essay off of it. Maybe I could include another example of how emigration affected Europe in order to have two topics to use in my essay.
DeleteImperialism was a big part of the expansion and industrialization of Europe. It caused more trade between the countries and caused more competition leading to more production of goods and increase in industry. The excess amount of produced goods needed to be shipped so more railroads were created to share them and increased trade. This increase in trade allowed the European countries to become more connected. The better industries also brought new forms and procedures of medicine and over all life had improved.
ReplyDeleteHey mal! I think you mention really good specific things that were relevant to imperialism during this time (medicine railroads etc.) because all of the things you mention easily add to imperialism and countries developing and spreading out into other areas. However, I think the paragraph as a whole is maybe a little all over the place, you need to connect your ideas a little more and have a clearer thesis and also state direct causes and results between things. Great start!
DeleteImperalism, a policy of extending a country's power and influence through diplomacy or military force, caused much change in nineteenth century Europe. Imperalism affected Europe in a broad variety of ways. There were three main causes that brough about imperalism: economic reasons, political reasons, and cultural reasons. Economically, imperalism benefited Europe by the addition of raw materials for industrialization as well as the creation of markets. Politically, Imperalism added a sense of security and strategy to the nation. Culturally, the other nations could benefit them while Europe could benefit other nations. Imperalism was immensely important during the nineteenth century of Europe because it had many effects. For example, new Hindi words started becoming a part of the European language and Europeans started eating tropical fruit. The force of imperialism during the nineteenth century brought economic, political, and cultural change.
ReplyDeleteHi Margot! I think this is a great introductory paragraph. I think the way you divided the causes of imperialism into economic, political, and cultural reasons will allow you to be able to analyze the topic fully without being too limited by specific examples. Additionally, the fact that you used solid reasoning for each section would help you write a really well-organized essay. There is some vagueness in some of the sentences with the use of the words 'they' and 'their' when referring to countries. What you have now is really good in terms of factual information. One suggestion would be to talk a little about how imperialism became necessary through economic, political, and cultural reasons. This isn't necessary, it would just add some context to your response. All in all, this is a really really good intro!!
Deletedear marina i whole heartedly agree with your response. thank u for not only helping me expand my knowledge and understanding but also for existing. On a serious note, I agree that there appears to be some vagueness and that will not suffice, I will be specific and concise when referring to countries because that is what IB wants. I will also expand on the effect of imperalism on the economy, politics, and culture.
DeleteDuring the late 19th century, imperialism played a profound role in the development of European countries. As new influences of imperialism affected Europe, various countries benefited from expansion, economic growth, and cultural development.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good start, but it's very broad and narrowing it down will ensure that your essay has focus and complexity. I have two main questions for you that, when answered, will serve as the basis for your new introduction. First, what was imperialism? Which major European countries were larger proponents of it, and in what areas of the world did they attempt to project their influence? If you can come up with a couple of specific, detailed examples to answer this question (e.g. Britain establishing control over vast areas of Africa and India to promote its economic interests). Secondly, and most importantly relating to this prompt, what were the effects of imperialism on Europe? This is a broad question to answer, so you can come up with many specific examples of how it affected politics, economies, and cultural aspects of nations (e.g. British control of parts of Asia and Africa put control of much of the world economy in its hands, which allowed Britain to flourish as a rich, powerful nation). Hope this feedback is helpful! Basically, I'm advising you to find specific examples of how imperialism affected European nations (and Europe as a whole) and explicitly discuss them in your prompt. You don't need a great deal of detail, just enough to specify the changes you're referring to.
DeleteImperialism towards the end of the eighteenth century set up Europe in the nineteenth century for a large amount of growth, and continued to be very important throughout the rest of the nineteenth century. Due to increased and powerful imperialism in many of the countries, things like available food and medicine, as well as notable population growth, began to change the way Europe functioned. Countries began to move ahead drastically in many ways; politically, intellectually, economically, and socially.
ReplyDeleteI think you have a really good start here.I like how you included multiple examples of the benefits of imperialism to really demonstrate what it did for Europe. Also this paragraph is very well structured and provides a solid and obvious framework for your essay response. To improve, I think you could expand more on how Europe changed from before with political, intellectual, and social examples. What countries in Europe benefited and grew the most due to imperialism? Did any other factors play a significant role in the change of these countries?
DeleteI feel like you have the right idea coming into this paper but that your introductory paragraph doesnt relate strongly to the era. You should include details about the scramble for africa and the opium wars and what was desired specifically in those locations during this time period
DeleteImperialism in nineteenth century Europe was important in fueling domestic technological and societal advancements during the Industrial Revolution, globalized trade to unprecedented levels and brought an era of cultural changes. Resulting from events such as the 1884 Berlin conference, resources from countries under Imperialism powered the European Industrial Revolution, producing innovative technologies and starting movements towards basic rights. Additionally, imperialistic aggressions opened the availability of global commerce to European markets. Britain’s Second Opium War with China established open consistent trade between Europe and Asia increasing Europe’s nationalistic confidence and power. Also, increasing European action overseas started a push towards civilizing areas under imperialism to European cultural standards of the nineteenth century.
ReplyDeleteHi Christi, I think you have a lot of good information in your introduction paragraph! I am a little confused about what you are trying to answer here though. Your large amount of information distracts from answering the question and I don't know "the reason" you think imperialism is important. What is your thesis statement? You have tons of ideas in your pharagraph, but I would like you to narrow down/catogorize them in some way so you can put it into a thesis statement that is easy to understand and clearly states "this is what i'm writing about".
DeleteAdditionally, I think you might have a little too much info in the first pharagraph. The into is supposed to outline the structure of your essay, and give basic info to "grab the attention of the reader" or to give them back ground info. What is the structure of your essay? What "main topics" will you discuss? Try to not overload your first paragraph, and make it clear and concise on how your essay will be structured.
Overall, I like your information, and you have plenty to talk about in your essay, just try to develop a clear and focused thesis that will tell the reader the structure of your essay. Good Job!
Imperialism, a policy of extending a country's power and influence through diplomacy or military force, was a major influence throughout Europe during the 19th century. The rise of industrialization helped certain countries become more powerful, allowing them to expand over weaker countries. Although expansion was seen before the 19th century, imperialism spread rapidly at the start of the century. While imperialism was beneficial to the European economy as well as the political system, it is seen mostly in the advancement of European culture where it brought not only new languages but a variety of goods as well.
ReplyDeletethis is from margot not ben
Deletethis is a very good thesis sentence. You might want to make the intro more broad so there is more room to expand on the effect of the European economy and political system along with specific examples, but other than that, rock on
Thank you so much Margot!! I agree with the thought that I need to broaden my introduction in order to allow for more detail in the following paragraphs. I also might think about adding in a few more specific examples into the introduction just to allow the reader to understand exactly what I'm discussing. But otherwise, thank you so much! Rock on!
Deletethis is still margot, but this time i will ask you questions because i did not last time. How did imperalism spread rapidly and how was the effect of that seen in the start of the century. How was imperialism beneficial? How did the rising imperialism lead to power?
DeleteDuring the nineteenth century, new advancements in society arose in some countries, and internal conflict in others, creating the opportunity for imperialism to shape the development of different nations around the world. Many European nations were growing increasingly advanced politically, economically, and socially and aimed to gain more power industrially. European countries began to expand outside of their own borders in order to utilize resources from other nations in cases such as the scramble for Africa and the Great Game through Asia and the Middle East. Imperialism during the nineteenth century in Europe gave way to the rapid expansion of the spread of European ideals as European countries became more successful in occupying other countries and spreading their own empires.
ReplyDeleteHey Emma! I think this is a really good intro! I think you should make your thesis more clear because I am unable to find it. Can you be more specific about what European countries?
DeleteHow would you structure this essay?
Thanks Candace! My thesis is pretty unclear so I need to fix that but it is basically just the fact that due to rapid expansion and imperialism, the spread of European ideals as European countries became more successful in occupying other countries and spreading their own empires. I would probably focus on England and France specifically (which I need to mention), as they were more prominently known for their imperialistic ideals during the nineteenth century.
DeleteNinetieth century Europe was extremely important time regarding movements like nationalism and imperialism. Europe, during this time had limited space and energy, production of goods went down. When economies of emerging nations fails, they outlook for production and demand of goods skyrockets. This forced countries like England to look for other emerging economies that could keep up with a high demand. Imperialism allowed for these countries to bring in large amounts of capital, the produced large sums of money that filed their encores, shaping Europe for the latter half of the nineteenth century.
ReplyDeleteHey Sammie!
DeleteThis is a great intro for the essay. I like that you included the causes of imperialism and some of the effects. I might be more in depth though on how it "shaped" Europe for the latter half of the 19th century. You include the economic effects but perhaps you could also include political, intellectual, and social effects as well. Overall you are definitely on the right track!.
In the nineteenth century, emigration to other countries, specifically America, had a large impact on Europe. Eastern Europe especially saw much emigration during this time as a result of the ever changing, tumultuous land grabs and border changes of the major powers in that area. This led to millions of people leaving their homelands in search of a better life elsewhere.The exodus of so many people over the years left Euroupe's population significantly less than it coulf have been, which meant easier job opportunities for those that stayed in Europe. Unfortunately, many of the jobs were in bad condition, and most of the people who normally worked them were the ones emigrating.
ReplyDeleteThis is overall a very good start! You have definite, clear reasons as to why emigration happened, and it is good that you included the outcomes of it. Are you going to go more in depth on what major powers were effected by the border changes, and which countries took part in the land grabs? That would come later in your essay, I think, but it would be beneficial to the reader to know who all was a part of this. Good job!
DeleteThanks! Yes i was planning on going in depth on the specifics of what powers were affected by border changes and land grabs later in the essay, but mentioning a few examples in the intro might be a good idea!
DeleteDuring the nineteenth century, there was an extensive amount of land that was new to the world. With the power struggle, borders were changing and land was being claimed all through Europe and Africa. Because of imperialism, countries in Europe and America were rushing to increase imports and exports, as well as becoming a world power. There were advances in technology, as well as social standings in Europe. New social rights for workers were surfacing, causing social reforms and changes , as well as the increase of imports and exports, leading to more trade between Asia, Africa, and America.
ReplyDeleteI like where you're going with this, but you're getting a little too broad. You need to stay in Europe and not venture into America and Africa as much (unless you're talking about emigration). Why did you choose to look at social rights, and how does that relate to imperialism or emigration? If that's where you want to go with your thesis be a little more specific to one or two European countries. Overall great job though!
DeleteMaryAnn,
DeleteThere are a couple of grammatical errors in the opening paragraph that you would want to correct should the essay be completed and submitted. As for content, personally I think that you left it a little too open ended. It was a bit unclear where you were going with the body paragraphs as the message is dilute by some of the background information.
Thanks T!I think I was wandering a bit with my topics, I'll focus a bit more on how social rights relate to imperialism, and how that affects Europe. Thanks for the help!
DeleteImperialism was important in the grand scheme of the nineteenth century in Europe due to the many different benefits and hardships it gave to the European nations. The benefits included natural resources, more land and wealth and more power and respect from other countries. The hardships included war and revolution brought on by territories and stretching of resources to combat all of the land that each European nation owned. Without imperialism, the century would have turned out very differently.
ReplyDeleteHi. Overall I think this is very good. I don't think your last sentence is very necessary to the introduction paragraph, it is just extra words. What countries gain natural resources? And from where? What is an example of the wars? I would include names of multiple European countries that have been effected positively and negatively.
DeleteEmigration from Europe developed greatly within the nineteenth century, with emigrants fleeing to countries such as America due to poor economic conditions and political persecution. With over 40 million people leaving European countries between 1850 and 1913, this mass emigration was one of the greatest attributions to the ever changing global economy. Other countries with scarce labor and high standards of living appealed to migrant workers who could not take to be a part of over crowded or unhealthy work conditions, resulting in the migration from Europe with copious labor amounts and low standards of living. This greatly impacted the importance of emigration to nineteenth century Europe.
ReplyDeleteThis is my third time posting this, the last two have not worked for some reason, I'm hoping this one does.
Imperialism in Nineteenth century Europe allowed for countries to spread their technoloogy to less advanced civilizations to create a greater and more powerful nation. Imperialism allowed for economic expansion and industrialization with the new raw materials.
ReplyDelete